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Band 5.5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Nowadays, having a year off between school and university is a very common thing
in
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among
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 youth. It has so many advantages
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such
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, such
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 as more time to explore yourself
but
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, but
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also
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 disadvantages like losing learning habits. Having a gap year between school and university can be very beneficial to a young person
due to
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 many different reasons. Exploring your tastes can be an advantage of doing
this
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 because it is the time when you are able to do whatever you want, to travel, to work, to do your hobbies
or
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, or
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 even to just relax.
This
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 time helps you to know more about yourself and
being
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be
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 more sure when you choose a degree to focus on and not
choosing
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choose
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 one in a random way to abandon it some months or years later.
For example
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, in my personal experience, a gap period helped me to
realize
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realise
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 that I did not want to study journalism but engineering.
Nevertheless
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, it
also
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 has its disadvantages.
While
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 most people finish school and
then
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 immediately launch themselves into a degree, a person who took a period off will not be as prepared as the other students because he would lose
his
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their
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 study habits, which can make a big difference with
his
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their
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 classmates. After a period without
studying
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studying,
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 it is very difficult to recover your habits
and
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, and
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 a student who used to have good marks can suddenly get bad marks
which
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, which
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 can demotivate him.
For instance
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, a study made by the University of Cambridge states that students who took a free year do not recover their old performance in
front of the
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their
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 studies.
To conclude
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, having a free moment after schooling can be beneficial to a person because it lets him explore himself
but
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, but
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on the other hand
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,
It
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it
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 can take him away from the world of studies.

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task response
For task response: answer both sides in a more full way. You write about good and bad points, but you can add one more strong idea for each side.
task response
For task response: make your ideas more clear with simple, direct sentences. Some parts are a little long and not fully clear.
task response
For task response: use examples that sound more natural. The personal example is good, but the Cambridge study example feels less clear and may not be true.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. To make it better, use linking words in a more careful way and avoid very long sentences.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: keep the same words for the main idea. You use 'year off', 'gap year', 'gap period', and 'free moment'. One clear term is better.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: check small flow problems, for example 'but on the other hand, It can take him away'. The capital letter and link here break the flow a little.
task response
For task response: you answer the question and talk about both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
For task response: your personal example helps show your point in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the essay is easy to follow because each body paragraph has one main focus.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: you have both an introduction and a conclusion, and this gives the essay a complete shape.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
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