some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea while others disagree strongly with. Consider both sides of this debates and present your own idea. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience

While
a faction of people
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
show examples
the notion that
gap
year
between school and university
education
will be pernicious for learners, others argue that it is good
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
future.
This
essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
view with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, the opponents of
gap
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
claim that
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
year
during academic life would adversely affect their future.
In other words
,
the
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in the
show examples
contemperory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
competitive world, the job opportunities are declining every
year
. The people will have less chance to get
a lucrative jobs
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a lucrative job
lucrative jobs
show examples
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to their
peer
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peers
show examples
who have completed their
education
one
year
earlier.
For example
, after the
invent
Replace the word
invention
show examples
of artificial intelligence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans are replacing by smart devices, so early completion of
education
is imperative.
Nevertheless
,
Add an article
the
a
show examples
primary advantage of having a
gap
year
before
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is obtaining industry experience before
decide
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deciding
show examples
what course to study. In detail, the students will have a chance to work in their
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
industry before the formal
education
.
For example
, students can work in various industries to decide which sector will
Add a missing verb
be pefectly
show examples
pefectly
Correct your spelling
perfectly
fit for them.
Moreover
, several learners use
gap
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
for travelling to different countries.
This
will help them not only explore the world but
alos
Correct your spelling
also
obtain knowledge which may not
be get
Change the verb form
get
show examples
through formal
education
. In conclusion.
Although
gap
year
delays to complete the
education
, it enables industry experience before starting the formal
education
. In my opinion,
Add an article
a
the
show examples
gap
year
is useful before
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
professional university
education
.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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task achievement
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. While both sides of the argument have been introduced, the refutation of the opposing argument could be developed more coherently to improve task achievement.
task achievement
A clear thesis statement at the end of your introduction could enhance clarity on your stance regarding the topic. A well-defined thesis helps in meeting the task requirement effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your main points more effectively with clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea which is then developed and supported throughout the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This can be achieved by using more varied transition words and referencing words effectively.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating the same vocabulary. Synonyms and paraphrasing can demonstrate a wider range of language and prevent repetition.
coherence cohesion
Check your essay for grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall presentation and readability. Frequent mistakes can detract from the reader's ability to understand your points.
task achievement
Make sure to provide clear, relevant examples to support your arguments. While some examples were given, they could be more specific and detailed to truly illustrate your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • life experience
  • independent
  • practical skills
  • reflect
  • educational and career goals
  • academic environment
  • adjust to
  • disinterested
  • counterproductive
  • internships
  • volunteering
  • enrich
  • perspective
  • resume
  • economic considerations
  • financial constraints
  • privilege
  • personal growth
  • acquiring new skills
  • sense of direction
  • immensely beneficial
  • well-planned
  • aligned
  • future goals
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