Now a days people are admiring media and sports stars even though they don’t set a good example. Do you think it is positive or negative development.

#people #media #sports #stars #don’t #development

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The admiration of media and sports

stars

Use synonyms

is a prevalent phenomenon in the contemporary world.

While

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these individuals often serve as role models, their behaviour and actions do not always set a positive example.

This

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essay will illustrate points that support both positive and negative impacts.

To begin

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with, media

stars

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often achieve remarkable success

due to

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their hard work, talent, and perseverance. Their stories inspire and motivate youngsters to succeed in their lives. The popularity they gain boosts the economic growth in various industries

such

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as entertainment, sports and advertising. Endorsement deals and sponsorships involving celebrities can grow sales and create job opportunities.

Along with

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this

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, they use social media platforms to create awareness about social issues,

contributingto

Correct your spelling

contributing to

contributing

apositive

Correct your spelling

a positive

positive

impact on society as a whole.

On the other hand

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, discussing the negative impacts of the lifestyles they show sets unrealistic expectations among their followers which leads to dissatisfaction in their individual lives which ends up as stressful life. These

stars

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often indulge in drug-related illegal activities which sets a poor example for their admirers, especially youth.

Moreover

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, excessive admiration of celebrities can lead to misplaced priorities, where individuals prefer fame and superficial success over more meaningful achievements.

For example

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, these distract individuals from the importance of education, community service and personal development. In conclusion,

While

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admiring these

stars

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can have a positive impact as inspiration, and economic benefits, it

also

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has significant negative impacts

such

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as unrealistic expectations and many more.

Therefore

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, it is crucial for society to make decisions

according to

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individual interests rather than admiring others for a balanced lifestyle.

Submitted by manjeetsandhu1999 on Sat Aug 10 2024

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Coherence

Try to ensure that each paragraph fully develops a specific point or argument, avoiding any disjointed ideas. For instance, the second body paragraph could be more consistent by introducing specific examples to support points discussed.

Task Achievement

Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes, such as missing spaces or typos (e.g., 'contributingto' should be 'contributing to').

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider using a greater variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability and sophistication of your writing. This can help to better articulate your ideas and arguments.

Task Achievement

Ensure that all points are equally supported by relevant and specific examples. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

Task Achievement

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete and comprehensive response to the task.

Task Achievement & Coherence

The essay highlights both positive and negative impacts, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.

Coherence

Logical structure is generally clear with separate paragraphs for different points, facilitating coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
admiration
influence
celebrity culture
endorsement
controversy
normalization
self-esteem
body image
mental health
consumer behavior
social norms
economic trends
cultural trends
privacy
ethical concerns
social responsibility
platform
obsession
public behavior

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Now a days people are admiring media and sports stars even though they don’t set a good example. Do you think it is positive or negative development.

Your opinion

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?