In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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In many
nations
Add a comma
nations,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In many nations. Consider adding a comma.

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teenagers have
small
Correct word choice
little

There may be an adjective issue here.

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free time and are
below
Change preposition
under

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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enormous stress to study a lot
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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in their lessons. One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack

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of time among young
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences

It seems that consequence may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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like
suicide
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or illness of mental health.It is undeniable that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

study
Correct pronoun usage
who study

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abundant
that
Correct word choice
and

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do not remark how he
start
Wrong verb form
started

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb start. Consider changing it.

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to be crazy
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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become an essential part of our life.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,these days
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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Kazakhstan
took
Wrong verb form
takes

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb took. Consider changing it.

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first place
in TOP
Correct your spelling
as the top

The word in TOP doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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country of
suicide
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

amid
Change preposition
among

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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students.Unfortunately,all of
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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problems happen by reason of took enormous stress when they pass of exam or
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents

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shout
them
Change preposition
at them

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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. One of the main aspects of the problem is that illness of mental health among teenagers.
I
Add a verb
I am
I was

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

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aware that studying is
important
Add an article
an important

The noun phrase important and really terrific habit seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and really terrific habit,even though we have more important
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things

It seems that thing may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that we need to appreciate and take care
.
Change preposition
of.

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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In my opinion,it is our nervous system and body,
which
Correct word choice
that

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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anything can not change.One of the main reasons behind
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

high pressure because of study and criticism of others.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,students
tried
Add the particle
tried to

It appears that the verb be should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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be unique for eye teachers or parents,
after
Correct word choice
but after

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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month
Correct article usage
a month

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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they felt high pressure and fatigue.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
third
Correct article usage
the third

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our problem is
suicide
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

between
Change preposition
among

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
below
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a
tension
Replace the word
tense

The word tension doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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person does not want to live anymore,
Linking Words
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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decided
Wrong verb form
decides

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb decided. Consider changing it.

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to do
suicide
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To stop
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

worthy
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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,we have to find
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution

The noun phrase solution seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to help
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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humans.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Because. Consider removing the comma.

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to tackle
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should take psychological
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training

It appears that trainings is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

may be the easiest and so the best way to keep our brain from
variety
Correct article usage
a variety

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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terrible
Change preposition
of terrible

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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actions. Having weighed everything mentioned up,we can come to
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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conclusion that everyone
have
Change the verb form
has

It appears that the indefinite pronoun everyone does not agree with the verb have in your sentence. Consider changing the form of the verb.

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to find free time to relax and enjoy.

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structure
Your essay lacks clear structure. It is essential to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea and supporting sentences. Start with an introduction that briefly addresses the question, then create body paragraphs for each point, followed by a conclusion that summarizes your argument.
linking words
Use a range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and ensure a smoother flow. Avoid repeating the same connectors and aim to demonstrate variety in language use.
introduction/conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and distinct from the body of the essay. Your conclusion should restate your main arguments without introducing new ideas.
supporting examples
Provide concrete examples and evidence when discussing causes and solutions to the problem. This strengthens your argument and displays a wider understanding of the topic.
task completion
Focus on fully answering all parts of the question. It seems that you have mentioned some causes and solutions, but these need to be developed more thoroughly and clearly linked to the question.
grammar and accuracy
Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This helps in delivering your message more effectively and achieving a higher band score on the grammatical range and accuracy criterion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
What to do next:
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