Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small and local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#development #expansion #supermarket #countries #businesses #people #closure #business #death

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Nowadays, many small and local enterprises are bankrupt because of supermarkets' advancement and swift growth. There are several views that the decreasing of hometown businesses brought about a decline in the country's economy. In

this

essay, I will delve into my reasons why I totally agree with

this

given statement.

To begin

with,

Submitted by helainhye2 on Fri Feb 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides an incomplete response to the prompt. You should develop your argument by elaborating on the reasons why you agree with the statement provided in the task. A complete essay should normally have at least four paragraphs, including an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

A clear logical structure is not evident since the essay is not fully developed. A better organization of ideas is needed for a higher score. Incorporate a thesis statement in your introduction, present each main point in a separate paragraph, and conclude with a summary of your viewpoint.

task achievement

You need to support your main points with specific examples or explanations. This will help to fully develop the argument and meet the expectations for the task. Including real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Include a conclusion that restates your main points and clearly expresses your standpoint on the subject. This is an essential part of the essay structure needed to achieve a higher score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

53 words

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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small and local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both of views and give your opinion

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ​

Smart devices have put all of the world’s information at our fingertips. The benefits of this development are obvious, but what are the drawbacks?

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 