You travelled by a long distance bus recently and your suitcase was damaged. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter •Inform the bus company of when and to where you travelled •Describe your suitcase and what happened to it •Explain why the company should pay for a new suitcase

#distance #bus #suitcase #company #•inform #•describe #•explain

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to express my disappointment with the

lauguage

Correct your spelling

language

handling service of

you

Correct pronoun usage

your

show examples

bus company. I recently travelled for a long distance and later when I got my

bag

it was whole

damanged

Correct your spelling

damaged

. Let me explain

you

Change preposition

to you

show examples

, I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

travelled from New Delhi to Ludhiana

Change preposition

show examples

Bus number 765

Change preposition

apply

show examples

last

Sunday, 28th

Janurary

Correct your spelling

January

2024. My black Safari

bag

with

golden

Correct article usage

a golden

show examples

zip lock and two pockets

infront

Correct your spelling

in front

was in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good condition during boarding but when I reached the destination my

bag

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

a big

dant

Correct your spelling

dent

at the back and it could not be fixed. To recover my loss, I would like to get the

compensiation

Correct your spelling

compensation

amount

that is

mentioned on your website. For my

safety

Add a comma

safety,

show examples

I took some

picture

Change the form of the verb

pictures

show examples

of my

bag

at the beginning of the trip and

according to

your

policy

Add a comma

policy,

show examples

I should

atleast

Correct your spelling

at least

get 60% of the original price of the

bag

. I hope you will address

this

concern as soon as possible and

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not disappoint me anymore. Your's sincerely, Ravi

Submitted by harneet2001kaur on Fri Feb 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the letter could be improved by clearly separating information into distinct paragraphs, with each focusing on a specific point: one for the introduction and details of the journey, one for the description of the suitcase and the damage, and one for the request for compensation. This will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Greeting and closing are well done, but they could be enhanced by addressing the recipient by their title (if known), such as Customer Service Manager, and signing off with a more formal closure if writing in a highly formal context.

task achievement

For task achievement, make sure to provide all necessary details such as the ticket number, exact date, and any additional evidence that would support your claim. Remember to be specific about what action you expect from the bus company, such as a direct request for a specific sum of money or a new suitcase.

task achievement

The writing tone is mostly suitable and formal. However, ensuring consistency in tone, using a consistently formal register, and avoiding informal phrases will create a more professional impression and make your request more persuasive.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

171 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You travelled by a long distance bus recently and your suitcase was damaged. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter •Inform the bus company of when and to where you travelled •Describe your suitcase and what happened to it •Explain why the company should pay for a new suitcase

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In many countries, people decide to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many museums charge admission fees while others are free. Do the advantages of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantages?