In the future, self driving cars will replace human drives. Is that a positive or negative development
The rise of technological advancement has greatly contributed to the emergence of inventions,
such
as self-driving cars that would eventually replace human drives. This
current development would cause various drawbacks, including increased unemployment, laziness, and huge segmentation between citizens.
Firstly
, one of the most common problems that would occur is the surge in unemployment due to
the transition to using driverless vehicles. For instance
, people who work in transportation services, such
as drivers would be the most affected. Transportation companies will no longer need the service of drivers due to
the occurrence of driverless vehicles. This
undoubtedly leads to the loss of jobs and, in the end, increases the poverty rate.
Another issue is the widespread lazy
culture within Replace the word
laziness
Correct article usage
apply
the
society since everything become easier to achieve. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, if an individual wants to go to the supermarket to buy groceries, they can use the self-driving car as the vehicle without having to worry about driving it. As a result
, laziness would be a common occurrence.
Last
but not least, on the top of an iceberg, a bigger gap between each socio-economic status of citizens would happen. The rich will become richer since they have the necessary resources to purchase the car and will not be directly impacted by the loss of employment. On the other hand
, the poor will remain the same, even worse.
In conclusion, the trend of self-driving cars will ultimately be a catastrophe to society in general with various downsides. Therefore
, this
is not a positive development.Submitted by alyarachmadivaa on
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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear thesis statement outlining your position. The current introduction could be improved by clearly stating whether the development of self-driving cars is positive or negative, according to your view, to give a clear stance.
task achievement
Work on expanding your supporting examples with more specific details. For instance, when mentioning increased unemployment, you could include statistics or predictions from relevant studies to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to balance the essay by discussing both sides of the issue. Although you have a clear opinion, considering the potential benefits of self-driving cars would show a comprehensive understanding of the topic and address the task more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing ideas more logically and clearly. This includes crafting better transitions between paragraphs to ensure the reader can follow your reasoning without effort. Try using transitional phrases that link the ideas and arguments between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position in a conclusive manner. Your current conclusion introduces new ideas ('catastrophe to society') that should have been explained in the body paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.