Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, advertising
is take
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is taking
is taken
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very
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a very
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important role
for
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in
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sales and marketing. It is easy and convenient for the company to promote products through
the
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apply
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online channels like Facebook or TikTok which most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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people
seen
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see
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it
everyday
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every day
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.
Although
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However
show examples
, it could be something common and they no longer look at the commercials. In
this
essay, I will examine both of
this
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these
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opinions and why I strongly support the first idea. In my point of view, the main reason is advertising
are
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is
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coming from various
type
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types
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of
medias
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media
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. Many people just enjoy their leisure time watching
video
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videos
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on YouTube or TV programs and subconsciously perceive the information about the products and think they might need it.
Secondly
, admit it or not celebrities are
huge
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a huge
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influence on customers to buy the
staffs
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stuff
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such
as Lisa,
the
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a
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member of
famous
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the famous
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K- Pop
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K-pop
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girl group called 'Black Pink'. She has 100
millions
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million
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followers on
instagram
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Instagram
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and only she
post
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posts
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the picture of her with
inhaler
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an inhaler
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that thing becoming very popular
over
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apply
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a
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apply
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night.
On the other hand
, marketing could be
sometime
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sometimes
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very boring and annoying. Because advertising is now everywhere. They have seen it too many times until they get used to it and pay attention no more.
For example
, when you use
sky
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the sky
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train every day in Bangkok, you must have seen the commercial picture wrap outside and inside of that train and it
probably
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is probably
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too much for you. In conclusion, we have nowhere to escape from
this
advertising world because it's super easy for the company to post and promote their products online in our daily
life
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lives
show examples
. That's why I strongly support the idea that commercials are persuading people to buy things they don't want.
Submitted by Poookiiee on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly structure your essay with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. This can help the reader to follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points fully by expanding on your ideas and providing deeper analysis.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction sets up the topic and your thesis statement clearly, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Elaborate on examples by explaining how they support your argument. In this essay, the example of the celebrity influencer could have been expanded upon to show a clearer connection to the effectiveness of advertising.
task achievement
Always maintain a formal tone and avoid using informal language or colloquialisms in academic writing.
task achievement
Address both views of the argument fully and impartially before providing your own opinion to ensure a complete response to the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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