In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is regularly argued that

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

average level of life expectancy is more than

Change preposition

in previous

show examples

years.

Thus

Linking Words

, some people guess that elderly citizens

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

a large amount of issues in modern society.

Although

Linking Words

, at the same time some humans believe that it has more advantages than disadvantages.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both points of view.

Number

Change the article

A number

The number

show examples

of scientists have shown that in recent years there have been significant changes in the age sector of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Referring to some potential negative outcomes of that tendency, some evidence indicates that many young specialists do not have opportunities to get a good job

due to

Linking Words

the fact that

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

generation takes all of the high-paying and respectable jobs. For a primary example, when I was extremely passionate about getting a job in

the a

Choose an article

the

show examples

giant hospital to work as an epidemiologist, but there was a big issue related to

this

Linking Words

position that was filled by a really old woman who was 74 years

Correct word choice

old.

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

nobody

deny

Change the verb form

denies

show examples

that it is exceedingly difficult to get rid of

this

Linking Words

entirely.

However

Linking Words

, some opponents who state that there are more benefits if society has more old humans may deem the previous viewpoint questionable. The first advantage is that the elderly generation has an excellent life and job experience, which they can bring and give to the new one. The second positive is that our grandparents keep and display the traditional culture of every nation. That helps to provide human values

such

Linking Words

as being thankful and taking care of children and old people.

Hence

Linking Words

, as a rule,

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

show examples

with a

big

Correct word choice

large

show examples

population of elderly persons have a calm environment without

arguings

Replace the word

arguments

show examples

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it is necessary to take into account all the details of each individual case. From my point of view, the latter opinion is definitely more persuasive, as it follows from my own experience, for I am a volunteer who works with all generations.

Submitted by balnur_amantay on Fri Feb 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure that your essay maintains a clear position throughout the response. While you have provided a basic introduction and conclusion, the body paragraphs should consistently support your stated viewpoint with clear and comprehensive ideas.

coherence and cohesion

It's important that your essay features a logical structure. While your essay has a recognizable structure, including paragraphs, work on making sure that the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas and paragraphs.

task response

To enhance task achievement, your response should be expanded with more developed and specific examples. It is crucial to demonstrate your point using detailed illustrations directly linked to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Details of politicians private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There have been a debate whether offstage information of politicians should be kept away from the media. In my opinion, I strongly advocate that argument as I believe everyone should have the right to keep their personal lives private.
6.5
band
As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The expenditure on the road system has become one of the hotly debated topics that divided opinions, due to the increase of the quantity of cars recently. Many people think this is the accountability of the government, while others consider that it is an individual role to pay for it. From my perspective, the government bears responsibility for improving road traffic.
<4
band
4.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?
Another key criterion that the company look for is analytical skills, which is very important for people working in investment banking. People regularly engage in analyzing debt and equity structures, financial transactions and other crucial elements that play an important role in making critical decisions in the moment of recommending financial strategies to consumers. Additionally, people need to be strategic and logical thinkers who can analyse data and different situations in the financial market.
6.5
band
Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?
It is thought by some people that people can be encouraged to remain healthy by building more gyms around their residential areas. In this essay, the effects and solutions of this matter will be outlined before reaching my conclusion.
7.5
band
It is believed that citizens should pay tax to show their social responsibility. Others believe citizens should take other responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the current world, some people believe that society should take social action through tax payments, while others think otherwise. From my perspective, there are some truths for both views. The following paragraphs will clarify my stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Details of politicians private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

4.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?

Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

It is believed that citizens should pay tax to show their social responsibility. Others believe citizens should take other responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.