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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #purpose #museums #people
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Museums
 fulfil different things for different people. On the one hand, many people feel a museum’s primary
purpose
 is to entertain.
However
, others feel they function to foster understanding. Both arguments will be analysed before a conclusion is declared.
Firstly
, some argue a museum’s main
purpose
 is to amuse.
For example
, the Museum of Natural History in Ottawa limits descriptive placards and
instead
 uses life-sized exhibits that allow visitors to
role play
Add a hyphen
role-play
show examples
 historical moments.
Although
this
 approach is stimulating and helps visitors better envision life at certain points in time, it does little to impart a full understanding of the broader historical themes at play.
Thus
, the merits of
this
 opinion are hard to support. An alternative position argues that the primary
purpose
 of
museums
 is to educate.
For example
, the British Museum in London heavily placards its exhibits to provide its visitors with the tools needed to be informed about what is on display.
Although
 perhaps not as visually stimulating, patrons leave
this
 museum with a much richer understanding of historical topics and the underlying trends that were at work during certain periods of time, an approach that offers perspective on
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
 life and humanity as a whole.
Thus
, the heightened benefits of
museums
 that focus on educating can clearly be seen. After looking at these different points of view, I feel that
museums
 better serve the public when they are organised to educate as opposed to entertain.
Thus
, I hope that the
museums
 of the future are arranged primarily for
this
purpose
.
Submitted by imsarunn on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that directly responds to the task question.
task achievement
Introduce specific examples and data to support your points, as this can make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
task achievement
Develop your arguments further to show a deeper analysis of the topic, especially when explaining the importance of education through museums.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious not to oversimplify points; ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and sufficient supporting information.
coherence cohesion
Make your conclusion stronger by summarizing both views and then clearly restating your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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