IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Over the years, governing bodies have continuously passed bills to restrict international travel as it is detrimental to the environment. Developing countries are strongly against
this
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 idea because 70% of their income is derived from the influx of foreign visitors,
whereas
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 developed countries support the government’s decision.
This
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 essay completely agrees with the stance of the advanced countries. I believe that foreign trips are hazardous to the climate and that tourists tend to act inhumanely in new societies.
To begin
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 with, travelling abroad is mostly done by aeroplanes or trains, which are known to produce substantial amounts of carbon monoxide (CO).
This
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 gaseous substance is undoubtedly deadly to both humans and plants.
For instance
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, in 2002, the Federal Airport Authority of Nigeria stated that
due to
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 the excess number of planes
flown
Change the form of the verb
flying
show examples
 into the country, humans are more likely to die from air pollution than from smoking cigarettes.
Therefore
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, authorities should reduce flights for personal purposes and limit them to strictly commercial use.
Furthermore
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, when people visit a new country, it is usually to learn about the place;
however
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, recently, travellers have been seen to cause more environmental havoc,
such
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 as throwing litter on the streets.
For example
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, every December, Lagos is a popular state visited to the extent that going there yearly is nicknamed “Detty December.” People go to the beach and dispose of plastic into the sea,
hence
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, exposing aquatic animals to danger.
To sum up
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, I wholeheartedly commend the notion of regulating outbound journeys.
This
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 approach not only improves the atmosphere but
also
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 creates a cleaner surrounding.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly differentiate between the effects on developing and developed countries in your introduction to enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a seamless flow of ideas. For example, provide a brief summary of the previous point before moving to the next one.
task achievement
The essay has a clear and concise introduction that outlines the main argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong. Each point is distinct and builds upon the previous argument.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the Federal Airport Authority of Nigeria's statement and the 'Detty December' phenomenon, effectively supports the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable travel
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • habitat destruction
  • cultural dilution
  • overcrowding
  • resource depletion
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • tourism ethics
  • green initiatives
  • conservation efforts
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