IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent agree/ disagree.

#governments #money #railways #roads
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There is an opinion asserting that the budget allocated to
railways
Use synonyms
 should be prior to roads. A lot can be inferred from
this
Linking Words
 claim, an
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 interpretation can
give
Rephrase
also give
show examples
 us some ideas about
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 reasons. I agree with the given statement on the basis of decreasing air pollution and reducing road accidents. The main reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 It could be possible for more individuals to be transferred by public transportation
such
Linking Words
 as
trains
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of vehicle leads to
relocation
Correct article usage
the relocation
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 vast majority of people from one to
other point
Change the wording
another point
other points
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the more
trains
Use synonyms
 and
railways
Use synonyms
 are provided the more people tend to
use
Use synonyms
 these as a transmit
instead
Linking Words
 of their own car.
Hence
Linking Words
, the traffic congestion and
this
Linking Words
 is followed by air pollution are
bount
Correct your spelling
bound
 to decrease.
In addition
Linking Words
, another compelling reason for more investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
railways
Use synonyms
 is that if governments supply better
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 for
trains
Use synonyms
 and subways which need more and safer
railways
Use synonyms
 it will cause
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
almost everyone
Use synonyms
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
 shared transport
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 drive
private
Add an article
a private
the private
show examples
 car for travelling or even attending
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. Take Japan and
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 as an example; there are a few
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people who
use
Use synonyms
 their
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
due to
Linking Words
numerous
Correct article usage
the numerous
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trains
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 situation
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
vehicles are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
 and
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 would
fall
Verb problem
occur
show examples
 over time.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I personally take the view that using public transportation
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Correct article usage
a concequence
show examples
concequence
Correct your spelling
consequence
 of
dedicationg
Correct your spelling
dedicating
dedication
 more budget on
railways
Use synonyms
, brings about cleaner
ari
Correct your spelling
air
 and
also
Linking Words
 fewer accidents. It is my firm conviction that the money
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on
railways
Use synonyms
 should be more than roads.
Submitted by niloofar_sk33 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, make sure that your paragraphs are well-organized with clear topic sentences and that each point is developed logically and thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the introduction and conclusion, it's important to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion while summarizing the main points of your argument.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, include specific examples or evidence for each point you make. This strengthens your arguments and demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
To achieve a complete response to the task, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt. Consider any counterarguments and refute them to show a balanced analysis.
task achievement
Clarify and explore your ideas more comprehensively by expanding on the impacts and implications of the points raised, showing a thorough consideration of the topic.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples that are specific and detailed. Using real-world instances or case studies can significantly bolster the persuasiveness of your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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