Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether the state should be responsible for people's well-being and
education
or not. In this
essay, the idea of the first group, which aims to achieve more success for each society
, and the second perspective, emphasizing inevitable consequences for the community, will be discussed.
Given the fact that the largest investor in any society
is its government
, advocates argue that the government
should invest in education
and medical care. Therefore
, this
investment not only promotes physical and mental health within society
but also
reduces illiteracy rates. For example
, Japan's government
's focus on literacy and healthcare has led to educational and economic advancements in the country. Simply put, the healthier the society
, the more successful it will be.
Opponents, however
, argue that the is unnecessary for the state to invest in health care and education
, the most significant of which is economic depression. Simply put, If the government
spends the money that is
in the treasury on health and education
because there is no support for the withdrawal of that money, society
will suffer economic depression over time. Despite the fact that if that money was used in other areas such
as the restoration of historical monuments and icon building, could attract tourists, boost the economy, and create job opportunities.
In conclusion, while
governments prioritise the well-being and education
of their citizens, I would argue that neglecting economic and financial restrictions can have detrimental effects. It may result in an economic recession, which holds significant long-term consequences for the nation.Submitted by hongminh317 on
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Task Achievement
To boost your score, aim to expand on your examples by explaining how they directly relate to your point. More specific examples can enhance the argument's persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance flow and readability.
Task Achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both views before presenting your conclusion to strengthen the argument's neutrality until your opinion is stated.
Task Achievement
You have done well to introduce both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion in your conclusion, which is essential for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, aids in the clear presentation of ideas for the reader.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?