Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?
In the modern era, one of the most controversial issues today relates to achieving a
balance
between work
and leisure. Some people
believe that their purpose is to achieve a balance
between work
and other parts of their lives
, but rarely achieve it. In this
essay, I will explain the cause and suggest some solutions.
The main reason for a failure of balance
between work
and other parts of their lives
is that they tend to think work
is the biggest part of their lives
. Since they believe that career achievement is the main factor in the success of their lives
, they concentrate too much on their work
, even though it disrupts other parts of their lives
.
There are two effective solutions to this
problem. One way to tackle this
is to ensure that people
recognize that there are various values beyond work
from childhood, learning education which is the pointer of success can appear not only in careers but also
in diverse methods. Thus
, the government should support aid to operate such
learning in schools. The government has a moral obligation to assist its citizens when there is an opportunity for them to live better. Another solution that can be suggested is for people
to make their hobbies. Their hobbies spread out the focus of work
as well as
help they can live healthier. Additionally
, as they relieve stress, people
work
more productively and effectively. Therefore
, companies should set up working time to ensure leisure time due to
an increase in profit.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that the main cause is that people
do not have a balance
of lives
since people
tend to think work
is the most significant factor in their lives
. To solve this
problem, people
should perceive the existence of a variety of valuable things except for labour. Moreover
, it would be better if people
had to pursue their hobbies.Submitted by kk884 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are logically ordered.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help link your ideas. This includes referencing words, substitutions, conjunctions, and linking phrases.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Your essay will benefit from real-life examples or hypothetical situations that illustrate your points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Both the causes of the problem and solutions are required, so make sure to explore them thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
You should have an introduction and a conclusion. In the introduction, clearly state your thesis or main argument. In the conclusion, summarize your main points without introducing new information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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