Succesful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The debate
whether
Change preposition
of whether
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
sports
athletes
can earn more income than other important professions is justify
or not is often Change the verb form
is justified
is justifying
being
talkedUnnecessary verb
apply
.
The statement may Change preposition
about.
stems
from the fact that one of the Change the verb form
stem
most
richest Change the adjective
apply
person
in the world is a soccer Change to a plural noun
people
player
, which is Christiano Ronaldo. I will provide both views in this
essay, but I personally stand with the justification of the earning
of Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
sports
athletes
.
On one hand, the idea of sport
Change the noun form
sports
athletes
having the
salary greater than other important professions is Correct article usage
a
frown
upon. Individuals who Wrong verb form
frowned
support
this
matter may argue that there are a lot of harder jobs than sport
. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
For example
, doctor specialists need at least 10 years to be certified, they also
have people
's life
under their control, resulting in a very stressful occupation. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
However
, the salary of doctor specialists is not even close to the
Correct determiner usage
that
Change preposition
of succesful
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
sport
Change the noun form
sports
athletes
, they paid
far less than the players. Add a missing verb
are paid
This
fact has made some people
flabbergasted and thus
they do not support
the great income of the athletes
.
On the other hand
, individuals support
fully the fact of
Change preposition
that
succesful
players have gigantic salaries. Correct your spelling
successful
Although
some people
may think that it is easy to play sports
because they perceive it as a mere play, it is not. To be a succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
sports
athletes
, Fix the agreement mistake
athlete
it
require one to shed blood, sweat, and tears. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Athletes
must train every day, resulting in a
vulnerable physical health stability. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, they also
have to be strategic and critical. Even though a player
has a
great body strength Correct article usage
apply
but
she/he does not have the ability to think fast and smartly, the Correct word choice
apply
player
cannot be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
as
an athlete. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, it takes a lot of effort to be an outstanding player
.
In conclusion, there are people
who support
and oppose the justification of the large salary of successful sports
players. I personally stand with the matter, because being an outstanding player
is not easy, there are
so much to sacrifice, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
such
as the physical health of the player
.Submitted by asmaningrum2125 on
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introduction conclusion present
Work on creating a more engaging and clear introduction. Your introduction should outline the main points you will discuss and engage the reader. It should also include restating the question in your own words.
complete response
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. While you give a personal opinion, be sure the essay discusses both views equally and fully supports them with examples or evidence.
relevant specific examples
Try to add more specific examples to back up your points. While general statements about the difficulty of being an athlete are good, concrete examples help to make your argument more compelling.
logical structure
Work on the flow and structure of your essay. Use a variety of connecting words and phrases to help your essay read more smoothly and to better connect your ideas.
supported main points
Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a series of supporting sentences that back up that idea.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim for clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Some points are mentioned but not fully developed. Ensure you explain and analyze each point fully.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example