IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#events #world #life #support
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In today’s climate, by having wide access to
Internet
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the Internet
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, being aware of
current
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the current
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in
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is
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 so easy. It is a widely held view that the
events
 which are happening all around the universe are not related to us since they do not have
direct
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a direct
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 effect
in
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on
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 our lives, a theory which I fully disapprove
.
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of.
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 The main justification why not paying attention to
world
events
 is not fruitful is related to the butterfly effect. A theory which says that an event can affect
on
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apply
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another one and
this
 chain can continue on an infinitive cycle.
In other words
, the phenomenon which
happen
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happens
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in
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on
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 the other side of
world
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the world
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 can have
slight
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a slight
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 or even significant influence on our daily
life
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lives
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. As an illustration, the impact of
Russie
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Russia
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 and
Ukraine
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Ukraine's
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 war on the price of oil can be mentioned. Another explanation is that as a human and
member
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members
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 of
this
 big community, it is our responsibility to take
action
 in
the
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apply
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emergency cases
such
 as
earthquake
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earthquakes
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 which
is
Verb problem
apply
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an
unpredicted
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unpredictable
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event
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events
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. Not only can
this
 decrease the rate of damage, but
also
 it is a humanitarian
action
. There are a few reasons why paying attention to global
events
 is the right course of
action
. First and foremost, it can be considered as
a
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apply
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general knowledge that can be used in any situations like party and work office. Nowadays, people are talking about
the
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apply
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universal
events
such
 as political decisions or financial
break downs
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breakdowns
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 in the queue of
bakery
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the bakery
a bakery
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.
Therefore
, it can help individuals to extend their circle of
relationship
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relationships
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.
The
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Last
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last
 but not least, it is important to know
some one
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someone
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 else’s experience
due to
 the fact that it can be implemented in our personal life. An important example is
Chernobyl
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the Chernobyl
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 accident in Ukraine which
lead
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led
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 to
increasing
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an increase in
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 the standard and immune level of nuclear power plants
in
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apply
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all around the
world
 by authorities. What can be concluded from the above is that
,
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apply
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 I find myself among the people who believe that having knowledge about current affairs in the
world
 is a necessary
action
.
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more clearly focused on the essay topic and each presents a clear statement of your position on the issue.
supported main points
Develop your arguments further by expanding on your examples and explaining how they directly relate to your main points.
logical structure
Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific idea or argument. Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow, but be cautious not to overuse them.
clear comprehensive ideas
Be clear and comprehensive when presenting your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea, and that your position is stated and developed throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
Give more specific and varied examples that clearly support your arguments. Use these examples to demonstrate a real-world application or consequence of the idea you are discussing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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