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Band 4

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantage and disadvantage of this.

#people #travel #language #hometown #advantage
Over the
last
 few years, the numerous of
people
 who prefer to travel
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
 countries to study a outings
language
instead
 of learning in their homeland has increased significantly.
Although
 there are several advantages of travel abroad to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
Correct article usage
a diffirent
show examples
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
language
, it can have some disadvantages as well. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
I will try to discuss both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative sides of
this
 and draw a conclusion. On the one hand , there are several benefits of learning
Add an article
a
show examples
foreign
language
 in
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
. The first merit of it is considered to be that learning a
language
 becomes easier by communicating with abroad
people
. For instance, a person who has gone abroad
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not know
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
. So
people
 should talk
foreign
Change preposition
to foreign
show examples
 population. Another positive aspect is thought to be that explore new worlds,
Correct your spelling
different
diffirent
 cultures and gain knowledge.
That is
 because it has been a rewarding journey that improved their communication skills and opened up new opportunities,
challenges
Correct word choice
and challenges
show examples
 for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Also
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Also,
show examples
 they do know about
cultures
Correct article usage
the cultures
show examples
 of foreign
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
On the other hand
, despite
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
 positives, learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 in
Correct article usage
a diffirent
show examples
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
country
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
 One of the major disadvantages of it is that
people
 should pay money for their daily expenses and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
. For example, lack of
moneh
Correct your spelling
money
 or financial
stuation
Correct your spelling
situation
 is become
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they miss their family and friends. And longing
destroy
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destroys
show examples
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
. Another positive aspect is thought to be that their
country
 is
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 backward.
That is
 because their hometown is not developing.
Also
 compatriots
Add a missing verb
are
show examples
too interested in
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 abroad. And their
country
 reputation is reducing than other nation. In conclusion,
while
 learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 in several
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 can offer several positives, there may be some drawbacks too.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay more clearly with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion need to be more concise and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Elaborate on your main points by providing specific examples and explanations. Each advantage and disadvantage mentioned should be supported with details.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer and the text easier to read.
task achievement
Make sure that your ideas are directly answering the question and are staying on topic throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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