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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Today, whether people should compete with each other or cooperate more is a heated debate. As far as I am concerned, collaboration is a better option in the long term. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives and elaborate on my view.
Firstly
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, competition often encourages individuals and companies to innovate in order to gain an advantage over others. Since many organisations are eager to outperform one another, they come up with innovative and creative ideas.
For example
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, companies
such
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 as OpenAI and Gemini continuously improve their AI systems in order to stand out from their competitors.
As a result
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, citizens benefit more from these developments, which eventually makes life easier.
In addition
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, competition
also
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 boosts the economy of a country by attracting more investors into fields like AI.
In contrast
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, cooperation between people can increase efficiency in achieving goals. Companies and scientists can collaborate so that each group focuses on the areas in which they specialise.
For instance
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, during periods of economic recession, financial institutions often cooperate to stabilise the economy more efficiently, a result that would be difficult to achieve through individual efforts alone. In education, collaboration fosters teamwork, empathy, and communication , which are essential elements of life. In conclusion, competition can bring short-term benefits by promoting creativity and innovation. Yet, in the long term, cooperation becomes more beneficial to achieve certain goals effectively rather than working alone. I think people should collaborate more in fields like work, school, and even in daily life , as it is most likely to produce positive results in the economy.

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task response
For task response, make your opinion a bit more clear in the body, not only in the start and end.
task response
For task response, explain more why cooperation is better in daily life, not only at work and school.
task response
For task response, add one more clear and real example for cooperation to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking is good, but a few ideas move too fast. Add one more sentence to connect them.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make the last sentence match your main idea fully. You say work, school, and daily life, but then focus only on the economy.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check small punctuation issues, like spaces before commas, because they can make reading less smooth.
task response
For task response, you answer both views and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
For task response, your ideas are relevant and mostly well explained.
task response
For task response, your examples about AI and finance help support your points.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, so your essay is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use basic linking words well, like firstly, in contrast, and in conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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