Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a forein language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

A
lot
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large
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number of humans choose to
tour
other places to learn
forein
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foreign
languages as an alternative
of
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to
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learning in their country.
And now
Correct word choice
Now
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I will show
benefits
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the benefits
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and drawbacks of
this
topic
on
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in
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this
essay. There are several types of merits. The main reason to become
advantage
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an advantage
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is that. If you
tour
abroad
that is
work or education , your learning
is become
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becomes
has become
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easier because you will situate that condition.
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
show examples
you will learn that language without
tutor
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a tutor
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and educational
center
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centre
show examples
and you will be acclimated
that
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to that
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condition.
On the other hand
, that
maybe
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may be
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difficult for
youngster's
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youngster to
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learning
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learn
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. The prime example of
this
is
they
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they have
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never been
in
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to
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other places and
not
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have not
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ever
to travel
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travelled
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abroad , they
dramtically
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dramatically
decide to
tour
out of the country . They definitely face up to challenges to learn and
works
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work
show examples
abroad.
Naturally
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Naturally,
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if their learning skill
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
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well. Another way of
this
topic is that if they
will be
Wrong verb form
are
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at home and they have to go to
educational
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the educational
an educational
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center
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centre
show examples
to learn foreign languages ,
then
they may lose their
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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money to learn
therefore
, they decide to take
tour
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a tour
the tour
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to
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apply
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abroad.
To conclude
, if I will
talk
Verb problem
tell
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the truth
that is
really
Add an article
a really
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good decision to learn
forein
Correct your spelling
foreign
languages than at educational
centers
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centres
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because they speak there in that language if they
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
in abroad and at home they speak their own language
then
, their learning
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
more difficult.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not have a clear and logical structure, which makes understanding the argument challenging. Consider organizing the essay into clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea. Ensure each idea is fully developed before moving on to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are not clearly defined, which is critical in IELTS writing. Use the first paragraph to introduce the topic and the last to summarize your key points and provide a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points need more development with explanations and examples. Aim to support each advantage or disadvantage with specific details or evidence.
task achievement
The response fails to address all parts of the prompt sufficiently. Ensure that you explore both advantages and disadvantages fully, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Your ideas are not presented clearly, and the development of the essay is incomplete. Improve clarity by making sure each sentence has a specific purpose and contributes to explaining your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to back up your arguments. It is not about the quantity of examples but their quality and relevance to the main point you're discussing. This will also help in adding weight to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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