IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people argue that the same criteria of punishment should be applied to each category of
crime
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,
while
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 others believe that sentencing should depend on the offender’s motivation. I support the view that the intention behind a
crime
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 should be considered, as offenders may not always have alternatives. Advocates of fixed punishments believe that standard sentencing promotes equality and enhances the efficiency of the justice system. By assigning specific penalties to each type of
crime
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, the legal process becomes more transparent and streamlined. Judges would not need to examine the background of every offender, reducing delays and minimizing controversial verdicts that might provoke public dissatisfaction.
For instance
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, many high-profile cases take years to evaluate, causing prolonged distress to victims and their families.
Nevertheless
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, I believe
such
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 cases are rare and can be addressed with proper regulation.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that authorities should determine punishments based on the motivation behind the
crime
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, acknowledging the complexity of human
behavior
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behaviour
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.
For example
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, a person might steal food to feed their family
due to
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 poverty,
while
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 a woman may kill her husband in
self-defense
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self-defence
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 from domestic abuse. Carefully weighing the purpose of a
crime
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 allows for more compassionate and fair outcomes, particularly for underprivileged individuals who are more vulnerable to committing crimes under pressure.
Therefore
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, I contend that it is essential to recognize that not all crimes stem from malicious intent. In conclusion,
although
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 fixed sentencing may bring consistency and efficiency to the justice system, I believe that considering personal motivation is crucial, as every case involves unique circumstances and human factors.

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear argument for considering the offender's motivation, you might strengthen your task achievement by expanding your discussion of fixed punishments. Include more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the potential pitfalls of having a purely fixed penalty system.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear overview of your argument. However, you could enhance the logical flow by explicitly stating the counterargument in the introduction. This can help set the stage for a more engaged discussion throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, you have a logical structure, but try to connect your ideas more smoothly with transitional phrases. This can improve the overall coherence of the essay and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion by covering both perspectives and clearly articulating your own opinion. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively outlines the main points, and the conclusion reiterates your stance succinctly, which gives the essay a sense of completeness.
task achievement
You've provided specific examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments. Examples from real-life situations increase the relevance of your claims.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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