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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Austra/ia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by se/ecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Austra/ia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Summarise the information by se/ecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between the years 1980 and 1996.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are four different types of factors producing noise to environmental Health authorities.
In addition
Linking Words
, between
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 16 years, the
number
Use synonyms
 of related
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
years is evolving for
certains
Correct your spelling
certain
 and decreasing for others. Factories and domestic/household are definitively evolving, with 400
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
complaints for the year 1940 and ending with 1200 and
approximatively
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
 800 in 1996.
Then
Linking Words
, these two different types
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 significant evolution.
Also
Linking Words
, Road
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
begun
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 in 1980 with almost 600 and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 with only 100
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
complaints,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is very
less
Replace the word
low
show examples
.
Instead
Linking Words
 of traffic noise
who
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is demonstrating a valued diminution, with 300 in 1980.
However
Linking Words
 is it clear that in the year
1986
Add a comma
1986,
show examples
 there is an
essentiel
Correct your spelling
essential
 evolution, ending with a
number
Use synonyms
 of 600
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Who
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
 a contrast between all trajectories.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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