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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the size of the global population from 1400 to 2000, and the pie charts show the global population by region in 1900 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the size of the global population from 1400 to 2000, and the pie charts show the global population by region in 1900 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two pie charts illustrate the
population
Use synonyms
 in the world by
region
Use synonyms
. The difference between the two is in the year; the first chart is in 1900,
while
Linking Words
, the other is in 2000. The unit measurement is in per cent.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Africa was the only
region
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has had
experience
Replace the word
experienced
show examples
 growth, from 4% in 1900 to 10% in the year 2000.
However
Linking Words
, there was an additional
region
Use synonyms
 in Africa,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
called the "Middle East and North Africa" with approximately 6% in the same year.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the majority of other regions had decreased in
population
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 in 2000. Despite still being the highest, Asia had a drop
about
Change preposition
of about
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 6%.
This
Linking Words
region
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
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 had an additional
population
Use synonyms
 from the
fromer
Correct your spelling
former
 Soviet Asia. It was followed by Europe with a huge margin
up
Change preposition
of up
show examples
 to 40%.
Next,
Linking Words
in the middle, there was Latin America &
Carribean
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
 with a mere 8%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, North America and Others ranked the lowest with 4% on average.
Overall
Linking Words
, in general, the world
population
Use synonyms
 has drastically grown after 10 decades with approximately 4.6 billion
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, region with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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