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Band 4.5

Some people argue that the use of technology in classrooms enhances learning, while others believe it has more drawbacks than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 modern epoch,
technology
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 has developed compared to the past.
Whereas
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 some think that using
technology
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 in
classrooms
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
enhances pupil's learning, others say that it has more adverse effects.
This
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 essay discusses both views; I strongly agree with the former opinion because
technology
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 assists
to
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apply
show examples
more
students
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 to learn.
To begin
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 with, using
technology
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 in the classroom enhances studies because pupils can obtain all the materials from the
internet
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 without charge; they can store and save a lot of materials
besed
Correct your spelling
based
 on their academics.
For example
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, it helps
to
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apply
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the final year graduate
students
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 to finish their project
instead
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 of using and storing hard papers. Needless to say,
students
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 do not go to the library to improve their knowledge where limited resources
besides
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 they use the
internet
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gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 anything from anywhere. Hereby,
technology
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 in the
classrooms
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 brings more benefits to
students
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 and it enhances their academic performances.
In contrast
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, using
technology
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 in the
classrooms
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more drawbacks.
Firstly
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,
learner's
Fix the agreement mistake
learners'
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concenration
Correct your spelling
concentration
 may be distracted by using the
internet
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while
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 they may use social media to chat with their friends no one knows the learners what to do.
For instance
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, the cities of India are loaded
smart
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with smart
show examples
 classes but pupil's academic performance is low compared to the traditional
classrooms
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.
Secondly
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, during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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class times software and
internet
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connections
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connection
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 problems suddenly
comes
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come
show examples
,
thus
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, beginners miss some subjects and explanations.
Hence
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, using
technology
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 in the classroom has more disadvantages.
To conclude
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,
although
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 using
technology
Use synonyms
 enhances learner's performance with finishing projects and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 plenty of resources from the
internet
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, student's concentration
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 distracted by using
this
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 device inside the
classrooms
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.
However
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, in my opinion, about
this
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, I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that using
technology
Use synonyms
 in the
classrooms
Use synonyms
 enhances the beginner's studies.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To achieve higher coherence and cohesion, your essay should clearly link ideas between and within paragraphs. This can be accomplished by using a variety of conjunctions and cohesive devices. Also, ensure that your paragraphs follow a clear structure: topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding or transition sentence.
Task Achievement
Your task achievement score can be improved by developing your ideas more fully and providing specific examples to support your arguments. Each view discussed should have a corresponding example to illustrate the point made in real-world contexts. Furthermore, ensure that your personal opinion is clearly stated and elaborated on. This will show a more complete response to the task.
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