These days many people prefer to work longer hours and spend less time at home. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this trend?

Carrier
Fix the agreement mistake
Carriers
show examples
play an essential role in our lives. Nowadays, A host of folk prefer to
work
longer hours and spend less
time
at home.
Although
we have several cons
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
, Some pros can not be
over looked
Correct your spelling
overlooked
show examples
. On the one hand, Some
people
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
youngsters prefer to spend less
time
at home and
work
longer hours
due to
the fact that, young
people
have a lot of
resion
Correct your spelling
reasons
for spend
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
time
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
.
For instance
, they can earn
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of money.
Therefore
, they can fulfil their needs.
Also
, if their family have financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, they can solve them and youngsters can buy
have ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
they want.
Moreover
, If you
work
extremley
Correct your spelling
extremely
hard, you will
familiar
Add a missing verb
be familiar
show examples
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
communicat
Correct your spelling
communicate
with
numrous
Correct your spelling
numerous
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
and bosses.
Consequently
, some famous companies probably hire you because you try so hard and have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough
experinces
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
.
On the other hand
,
It is clear that
if you
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not some
time
to rest, you will take many illnesses
such
as
deppresions
Correct your spelling
depression
depressions
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
when you have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
bonds with your family after
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
dayes
Correct your spelling
day
you carry out
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
your mood or
feel
Replace the word
feelings
show examples
.
In addition
, In my opinion, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
should go to travel and relax for that it is very
significant
Correct word choice
important
show examples
sometimes you go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere new.
Thus
, If you
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not a host of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
to
relaxing
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
,
travelling
Wrong verb form
travel
show examples
and
resting
Wrong verb form
rest
show examples
your
performances
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
show examples
will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
. In conclusion, In the modern epoach, some of the folk rather spend a
many
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
show examples
time
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
than at home as you know we have some benefits.
However
, As a
person
Add a comma
person,
show examples
If you
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not enough
time
to free your mind, you will
be demolished
Wrong verb form
demolish
show examples
yourself
due to
the fact that we are not
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
show examples
. So, all of the
people
have to have free
time
to conduct
have ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
want.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Make sure the introduction clearly addresses the essay topic and includes a thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the logical structure of the essay by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that relate directly back to the thesis statement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and add fluency to your writing.
Conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarises the main points discussed and reflects back on the thesis without introducing new information.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with relevant, specific examples or evidence that support the arguments being made.
Lexical Resource & Grammar
Avoid repetition and aim for a variety of sentence structures for a higher score in lexical resource and grammatical range and accuracy.
Grammar
Proofread to correct spelling and grammar mistakes such as 'deppresions' which should be written as 'depressions' and 'a lot of resion' which should be 'a lot of reasons'.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!