IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbean #island
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph shows the figures of tourists
visting
Correct your spelling
visiting
 a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.The
totals
Fix the agreement mistake
total
show examples
numebers
Correct your spelling
numbers
number
 of visitors staying on cruise ships and
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 rising gradually every year. The 8-year period witnessed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remarkable
overall
Linking Words
 growth not significantly interrupted by the stagnant year of 2016. To break the growth of the total down to the two specific groups of visitors, one group increased from 0.7
million
Use synonyms
 to 2
million
Use synonyms
, and the other from 0.3 to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
. The
numebers
Correct your spelling
numbers
number
 of
wistiors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 staying on
crusise
Correct your spelling
cruise
 ships are not
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
.It increased a half of
millions
Use synonyms
 of
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 from 2010 to 2011.
Then
Linking Words
 it
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 same
numbers
Use synonyms
 in 2012.After that,the
numbers
Use synonyms
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
rise
raised
 gradually from 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to
2miilions
Correct your spelling
2 million
 in 5 years. The
mumbers
Correct your spelling
members
numbers
number
 of
visitiors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 staying on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
are keep
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
 the same
numbers
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2011 .
Then
Linking Words
 It increased1
Use synonyms
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 2011 to 2013.After that keep the same
numbers
Use synonyms
 for
3years
Correct your spelling
3 years
.And
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 a half of
million
Use synonyms
 in one
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 it kept the
numbers
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Submitted by fiasngs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, millions, numbers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: