In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, various nations experience an increasing trend in longer life expectancy worldwide. On one hand, certain individuals believe that
this
ageing phenomenon may induce substantial issues for governments. On the other hand
, the nation tends to view this
as more positive hence
it has plenty of social benefits. This
essay will discuss both stances and showcase how the existence of the elderly populace significantly outweighs the drawbacks caused to the state and economy.
The ageing society causes a plethora of issues that may destabilize the governmental systems. One example could be the unemployment of young job seekers. For instance
, the majority of companies currently tend to hire more experienced older candidates for ently level
jobs. Correct your spelling
entry-level
Sunsequently
, Correct your spelling
Consequently
this
results in young workers being jobless and more dependent on welfare programs as in the case of Germany in the last
two decades.
However
, it is an undisputed fact that the elderly community has a handful of positive impacts on society in general. One focal point can be the knowledge exchange. For example
, in many traditional societies, the elderly were holders of ancient wisdom given to them by ancestors and this
practice from oldest to youngest can be the reason for overall
human evolution. Another example of benefits from the ageing trend might be hindsight perspectives from seniors which can bring historical consciousness to younger generations and help them to build a more comprehensive understanding of civilization and its development.
In conclusion, the ageing issue has been hugely overexaggerated in recent years and certainly has its disadvantages in matter
of unemployment rates. Add an article
a matter
the matter
However
, despite of
accusations Change preposition
apply
on
older people, I definitely believe that knowledge transfer and historical outlook provided by seniors significantly exceed its drawbacks in Change preposition
against
hind sight
.Correct your spelling
hindsight
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task achievement
Ensure that you maintain a clear position throughout the response. Your introduction mentions a clear discussion of advantages and disadvantages, but the body paragraphs do not clearly differentiate between the two.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully in the body paragraphs. Though you have mentioned key concepts like knowledge exchange and historical consciousness, you could elaborate more to make your ideas comprehensive and persuasive.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your main ideas. Examples like 'Germany in the last two decades' and 'traditional societies' need more specificity. Who is affected? How exactly does it impact the society? Quantitative data can also help strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and make sure that each subsequent sentence develops that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your transitions and connecting phrases to ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another within and between paragraphs. Phrases like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' could be used effectively to distinguish between advantages and disadvantages.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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