In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

Nowadays, various nations experience an increasing trend in longer life expectancy worldwide. On one hand, certain individuals believe that

this

ageing phenomenon may induce substantial issues for governments.

On the other hand

, the nation tends to view

this

as more positive

hence

it has plenty of social benefits.

This

essay will discuss both stances and showcase how the existence of the elderly populace significantly outweighs the drawbacks caused to the state and economy. The ageing society causes a plethora of issues that may destabilize the governmental systems. One example could be the unemployment of young job seekers.

For instance

, the majority of companies currently tend to hire more experienced older candidates for

ently level

Correct your spelling

entry-level

jobs.

Sunsequently

Correct your spelling

Consequently

this

results in young workers being jobless and more dependent on welfare programs as in the case of Germany in the

last

two decades.

However

, it is an undisputed fact that the elderly community has a handful of positive impacts on society in general. One focal point can be the knowledge exchange.

For example

, in many traditional societies, the elderly were holders of ancient wisdom given to them by ancestors and

this

practice from oldest to youngest can be the reason for

overall

human evolution. Another example of benefits from the ageing trend might be hindsight perspectives from seniors which can bring historical consciousness to younger generations and help them to build a more comprehensive understanding of civilization and its development. In conclusion, the ageing issue has been hugely overexaggerated in recent years and certainly has its disadvantages in

matter

Add an article

a matter

the matter

show examples

of unemployment rates.

However

, despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

accusations

Change preposition

against

show examples

older people, I definitely believe that knowledge transfer and historical outlook provided by seniors significantly exceed its drawbacks in

hind sight

Correct your spelling

hindsight

show examples

Submitted by 6atb8k on Sat Feb 03 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that you maintain a clear position throughout the response. Your introduction mentions a clear discussion of advantages and disadvantages, but the body paragraphs do not clearly differentiate between the two.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully in the body paragraphs. Though you have mentioned key concepts like knowledge exchange and historical consciousness, you could elaborate more to make your ideas comprehensive and persuasive.

task achievement

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your main ideas. Examples like 'Germany in the last two decades' and 'traditional societies' need more specificity. Who is affected? How exactly does it impact the society? Quantitative data can also help strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas more logically. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and make sure that each subsequent sentence develops that idea.

coherence and cohesion

Work on your transitions and connecting phrases to ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another within and between paragraphs. Phrases like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' could be used effectively to distinguish between advantages and disadvantages.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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