Topic: Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a statement that schools are not
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
life requirement anymore, because
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
provides a
huge
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
show examples
information, so they can just learn everything at home pretty well. I strongly disagree with
this
statement, because
education
is the main priority for everyone and through schools, we are able to obtain a wider range
opportunities
Change preposition
of opportunities
show examples
non
Change preposition
for non
show examples
and academic abilities.
Firstly
, schools are still important because
however
,
education
is a top priority for everyone. It is written in every country that everyone has an opportunity to get a good quality
education
in order to be a good generation in the future to advance the nation and state.
Additionally
,
education
is essential factors that ensure an individual's career path. A higher degree
education
that someone obtains, a higher possibility of being near with success.
This
phenomenon leads to
asignificant
Correct your spelling
a significant
significant
enhancement of good quality human resources in certain countries.
For example
, if many people in certain countries are individuals that have higher degrees
education
such
as
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
show examples
degree, they will be good
investation
Correct your spelling
investigation
to increase and motivate other people to pursue their dreams, so the quality of human resources becomes better than
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
condition.
Secondly
, by joining the
school
,
students
may obtain a wider opportunity for non and academic ability. The
school
provides several good facilities and services in order to support
students
' interests and talents
such
as olympiad clubs and extracurriculars like badminton, football, tennis, dancing, etc. Joining Olympic clubs will enhance your academic performance and readiness for competition,
whereas
extracurricular provide to practice your skills and expand the opportunity to involve
students
in tournaments. The
school
also
allows
students
to increase social capabilities and bonding through
students association
Fix the agreement mistake
student associations
show examples
by creating inspiring programs and bridging the
school
's staff with
students
. All of these benefits can not be obtained through
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
. In conclusion, it is not right if
school
is not necessary anymore for children. We need to children engage
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
school
because
education
is our top priority and
school
provides a wider range
opportunities
Change preposition
of opportunities
show examples
for non and academic capabilities of
students
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be well-structured with supporting sentences.
task response
Your essay should directly address the question throughout. Give a balanced view and clearly state your opinion, explaining why you hold that view with specific reasons and examples.
cohesion
Connect your ideas with cohesive devices (such as 'firstly,' 'secondly,' 'furthermore,' 'however,' etc.) and use them appropriately to guide the reader through your argument.
language use
Use a range of grammatical structures and vocabulary accurately and appropriately. Avoid repetition by using synonyms and complex sentence structures.
development
Develop your arguments further with relevant examples, and ensure that these examples directly support your main points and the overall argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational tool
  • structured curriculum
  • self-directed learning
  • socialization process
  • digital divide
  • trained educators
  • self-motivation
  • discipline
  • personalized learning
  • extracurricular activities
  • critical thinking
  • media literacy
  • all-round development
  • real-world preparation
  • online content
  • feasibility
  • tailored resources
  • information overload
  • learning styles
  • reliable sources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: