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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart depicts how many mobile phones were sold worldwide
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the top five
brands
Use synonyms
 in three different years.
Overall
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, it can be seen that even though people bought all
brands
Use synonyms
 of mobiles over the given time with different percentages, most of them preferred buying
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and
Nokia
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.
According to
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 what is shown, in 2009, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Nokia
Use synonyms
 were the highest, at about 440
million
Use synonyms
 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 roughly twice the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Samsung
Use synonyms
 in the same year.
However
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, in 2011, the sold
units
Use synonyms
 of
Samsung
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 increased,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
 were still lower than the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Nokia
Use synonyms
 by about 200
million
Use synonyms
. But, in 2013, it was the opposite
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the beginning, as the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Samsung
Use synonyms
 became about 430
million
Use synonyms
 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 approximately the double
sales
Use synonyms
 of
Nokia
Use synonyms
. Regarding the other
brands
Use synonyms
 of phones, Apple represented the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 figure for selling, at about 4
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
, in 2009 compared to the others.
Although
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 the number of LG sold
units
Use synonyms
 decreased gradually every year, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of ZTE were nearly similar, at about 7
million
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units
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.
To sum up
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, we could say that the
sales
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 of
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and
Nokia
Use synonyms
 showed the greatest figures in comparison to all other
brands
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sm710129 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words brands, samsung, nokia, sales, million, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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