As a consequence of improved medical care, people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Don you think it's disadvantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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The field of medical science is ever evolving with advanced technology and new treatment plans which in return, increase the longevity and average
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

span of human beings. I believe the drawbacks overshadow the benefits of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

notion. My viewpoints will be discussed in the following paragraphs with suitable examples.
To begin
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with, the fundamental issue of the extended
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

cycle is that the elderly need more assistance in their daily routine. On top of that, they would require intensive medical care putting strain on the hospital bed availablity
as well as
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

more doctors and nurses are required for the treatment. Having said that, a longer
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

cycle
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contributes to overpopulation across the globe.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, an
Increasing
Fix capitalization
increasing

Increasing does not appear to be a proper noun. Consider lowercasing it.

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number of younger generations are unable to care for their aged relations and
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have sought old age and nursing homes' assistance to look after them.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, recent statistics from
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of Social and Family Development have been an alarming rate of new admissions for those
home's
Correct your spelling
homes

The word home's doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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caring for the elders. Most of the facilities are already functioning at their full capacity,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, boosting the waiting list for newcomers.
In contrast
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, the passing of a loved one is a heartbreaking experience, and the grief often comes with overwhelming emotions.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, modern-day technology and medicine help to surge the
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

expectancy of individuals by early detection of any disease and providing appropriate treatment plans. Having said that, pioneers from different professions who are still in the workforce can
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

bestow their knowledge and experience to the newly joined.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a news article from Channel New Asia shared that a doctor who turned 100 years old and still serving in the cardiothoracic surgery department has been sharing his years of experience with the new undergraduates. In conclusion, I affirm that the disadvantage of the growing medical industry exceeds the advantage. As mentioned in the above paragraphs
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are several benefits from the advancement the silver generation will definitely hinder the medical system in the foreseeable future.

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Task Achievement
As to task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt with a balanced view, considering both advantages and disadvantages. It is commendable that you provided a clear opinion, which is a necessary component of a complete response. To improve, elaborate more on specific examples that clearly support your arguments for both sides.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is also fairly well developed, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and make sure each paragraph progresses logically from the one before it. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and set out your main points. To improve your score on introduction and conclusion, make sure they echo each other more directly, rephrasing the thesis and main points in the conclusion for more impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have supported your main points to a good extent. To improve further, integrate more detailed and vivid examples into your body paragraphs. Going beyond general statements to provide concrete instances or data will add depth to your argument.
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