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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart below show the makeup of the congress in country X after Election Day. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The pie chart below show the makeup of the congress in country X after Election Day. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie chart provides the ratio
about
Change preposition
of
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 five different Congress parties which are been selected after election in the country X.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear The Prosperity
Party
Use synonyms
 received
highest
Change the article
the highest
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 portion of the votes,
while
Linking Words
 The Unaffiliated is the one with
very
Correct article usage
the very
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 lowest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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. The day after Election,
configuration
Correct article usage
the configuration
show examples
 shows 36% of The Prosperity
Party
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the number
The
Change preposition
of The
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 Prospress
Party
Use synonyms
 and The Unity
Party
Use synonyms
 are 24% and 19% respectively. Looking at the scale of The Liberty
Party
Use synonyms
 and The Unaffiliated these are the two parties with the low numeracy 14% and 7%,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 The Liberty
Party
Use synonyms
 has doubled portion as compared to The Unaffiliated
Party
Use synonyms
. So,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 The Unaffiliated
Party
Use synonyms
 is at its lowest numbers and The Prosperity
Party
Use synonyms
 is at its highest.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words party with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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