IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is widely believed that transportation is the main source of pollution. While some believe governments should address this, others believe this is the responsibility of individuals.

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Many individuals think that transportation is the main reason for
pollution
Use synonyms
 on the planet,
while
Linking Words
 a bit of them believe that governments should take full responsibility for reducing
pollution
Use synonyms
.
However
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,the rest of them think that the individual has to care about that problem.In my opinion, I strongly agree that governments should be conscious of
such
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 a problem because it has the right to save the planet and to create rules that help develop the community in a better way. On the one hand , when the government give attention to these problems it will be reduced and everybody will obey these rules because they don'
t
Use synonyms
 have a chance to ignore
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for the reason that ,
people
Use synonyms
 will get paid if they don'
t
Use synonyms
 accept the conditions.
Initially
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 , governments nowadays focus on the combustion of fuel and ban it , so if someone does use it , there will be bad consequences for him and maybe he will stay in prison for a period of time , so
people
Use synonyms
 get afraid of that and they stopped using these criteria.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , if
Add an article
an
the
show examples
individual takes responsibility for reducing
pollution
Use synonyms
 the world will be changed in a better way as they can use greener transportation though,unfortunately,
people
Use synonyms
 at
this
Linking Words
 age and time don'
t
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 care about the environment , and they think that the air is renewed every day so we can'
t
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 rely on
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 situation .
For instance
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, they tend to use smart cars that require a lot of gases that have a huge effect on the air and ,
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decreases
Correct subject-verb agreement
decrease
show examples
 the pollutants and toxic gases in the earth , and the main damage will be on the animals , the variety of animals will be reduced as well. In conclusion , the government has the hand to solve the problems in the community and without it, we can'
t
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 live in peace.
In addition
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, we can say that
people
Use synonyms
 could help the environment and decrease
pollution
Use synonyms
 if they were taught at school how
pollution
Use synonyms
 is the worst thing to the planet.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, try to include more relevant examples and elaborate on them to support your points further.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words to create smooth transitions between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that wrap up the main points well.
logical structure
The main ideas are presented in a logical structure, with arguments outlined clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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