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Band 5.5

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern techonologies such as smartphones and computers. What is the cause of this? What are some possible solutions?

#people #struggle #techonologies #smartphones #computers
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In the
last
 few decades, many old
people
 have not known how to
use
devices
such
 as laptops, or even smartphones because of some
causes
.
For example
, they become too old that they can not see small words very well,
buying
Correct word choice
so buying
show examples
 glasses will be the solution to the problem;
therefore
, talking about these
causes
 and possible solutions in the next few paragraphs might help the elderly control some latest
technologies
. There are many
causes
 of using machines for them. First of all, for elderly
people
, it might be difficult to type the letter on the
screen
.
For example
, it might be stressful for them to type the word on a small keyboard with a small
screen
.
Secondly
, for them, it is difficult to remember the password of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
devices
 ,
for example
, smartphones and computers.
This
 makes them confused and every time they have to go to the shop to unlock the
devices
 it makes their legs to make worse.
Last
 but not least, it is hard to
use
 the tapscreen when they are using phones so they have to click the
screen
 many times and
this
causes
 them to break the
devices
. There are many solutions to solve the
causes
 of using
technologies
 for seniors. First of all, elderly
people
 should go to some classes which are mainly to help to
use
devices
 and so on.
Secondly
, they should write down the password on some paper and keep it for safety so that it is possible to remember the password. The best way is to
use
 the
devices
 more slowly so that they can not be stressful. In my conclusion, as I talked there are many
causes
 and some solutions to solve
this
 problem. These
technologies
 are helpful for many parts of things
such
 as to call, to contact and so on. But for elderly
people
, it is hard to
use
 because of the touch
screen
, keyboard and many other
causes
. In my opinion,
technologies
such
 as smartphones and computers should be made for elderly
people
 too.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that are easy to identify and follow throughout. Consider adding an explicit thesis statement in the introduction and a summarising statement in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop main points with specific examples or explanations, striving to create a logical progression of ideas throughout your paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Fulfill the task by offering a more thorough analysis of the causes for the difficulty older people may face with technology and by suggesting a broader range of solutions. Address the full scope of the prompt and ensure the conclusion effectively summarises your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • formative years
  • cognitive decline
  • adaptability
  • generational divide
  • intuitive user interfaces
  • intergenerational support
  • assistive technologies
  • user-friendly
  • inclusive design
  • senior-centric
  • tailored education programs
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