IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The pie charts and the table show the primary sources and the total amount of fish that transported into United States in the year 1988 to 2000.

The pie charts and the table show the primary sources and the total amount of fish that transported into United States in the year 1988 to 2000.
#show #sources #amount #fish #states #year
These are data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the total value and the the source of fish imported to the US which
displayed
Add a missing verb
are displayed
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 form of
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
show examples
 chart and a table.
Overall
, it is noticeable that Canada has experienced a constant decrease
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its imports,
in contrast
 with
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
which its
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 source of fish has
been rose
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
 rapidly and
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 the biggest importer
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the US. Looking at the details, in 1988, Canada
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
played the role
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the main investor with a total value of 60% out of $6.57 billion,
whereas
 China and other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 left behind as
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 imports only
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 40% in total.
However
, in 2000, Canada's import
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fell
Change the verb form
fallen
show examples
 dramatically to only 28%,
while
china's
Capitalize word
China's
show examples
 fish
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
show examples
has risen
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 slowly to 30%, and other
country's
Change the noun form
countries
country
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased extremely to around 40%.
To sum up
,
this
 data shows the gap
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 each importer
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 and the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 its imports from year to year.
Submitted by naurah.ar31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary sources
  • import
  • export
  • sustainable
  • trade
  • volume
  • shifts
  • increase
  • decrease
  • prominent
  • exporters
  • fishery
  • market dynamics
  • trade agreements
  • conservation
  • supply chain
  • trend analysis
  • economic impact
  • fishing industry
  • environmental concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: