IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Global warming is one of the serious issues being faced by people today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures must be taken by government and individuals in order to prevent global warming?

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One of the most serious topics being faced by
individual
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individuals
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in
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apply
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nowadays is global warming.
This
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 essay argues that the usage of
coal based
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coal-based
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 energy in a
vehicle
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 is responsible for
this
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 impact,
then
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, given a
tax
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 increase for
this
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 kind of
vehicle
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 will become an effective and viable solution. First and foremost, current existing
car
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manufactures
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manufacturers
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 still rely on a
combusition
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combustion
 engine which
result
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results
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 in a huge amount of carbon dioxide, which
are harms
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harms
show examples
 the air. Even though
,
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apply
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 many
car
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 makers currently produce electric
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vehicle
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vehicles
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, which
is more
Verb problem
are
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safe
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safer
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 for the environment,
but
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apply
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the
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price
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prices
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 are not
affordables
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affordable
 for the markets.
For instance
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, in Jakarta, the
price
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 of electric vehicles
are
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is
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 2 times more expensive compared to
gasoline based
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gasoline-based
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 cars, even though, the specifications and features
in
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of
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 both cars are
simillar
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similar
.
Therefore
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, the
costumers
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customers
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 will prefer to purchase the cheapest one
rathen
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rather
 than the eco-friendly one. To tackle
this
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 issue,
government
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the government
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 could help
the
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apply
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electrics
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electric
show examples
Use synonyms
car's
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car
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maker
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makers
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 to reduce the
on the road
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on-the-road
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price
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 by
given
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giving
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tax
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 relaxation.
Furthermore
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, if the
tax
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 can be
reduce
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reduced
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 become 0%, the
price
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 can be decreased significantly and have a competitive
price
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. In Malaysia, the government not only
decrease
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decreased
show examples
 the
tax
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of
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on
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 electric
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vehicle
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vehicles
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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increase
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increased
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 the
tax
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for
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on
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gasoline based
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gasoline-based
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 cars,
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in
Correct article usage
a dramatics
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dramatics
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dramatic
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 rose
for
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in
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 electric
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car's
Fix the agreement mistake
cars'
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 market share, beside the air
quaility
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quality
also
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 improved.
To conclude
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, reducing
coal based
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coal-based
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 energy and
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
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 more green energy
such
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 as
electric
Add an article
the electric
an electric
show examples
Use synonyms
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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 with full support from the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 by giving
tax
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 relaxation could be the most effective and viable solution to help
this
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 earth.

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Structure
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose: introduce the topic, discuss it and present your arguments, then conclude your thoughts.
Cohesive devices
Use cohesive devices such as conjunctions, pronouns and transition words to link ideas together more smoothly.
Grammar
Ensure subject-verb agreement and consistently maintain the proper tense throughout your essay. Also, be attentive to plural forms and possessive constructions.
Content Depth
Expand the scope of the discussion by addressing both sides of the issue - causes and solutions - in balanced detail.
Examples and Evidence
Add more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Paragraphing
Work on paragraphing to ensure each new point or argument starts with a new paragraph for better structure and readability.
Grammar and Accuracy
Address grammatical errors such as article usage and sentence structure to enhance the quality of writing.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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