Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult to live such as Sahara desert or Antarctica. Do advantages outweight the disadvantage of live there .

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctica #outweight

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The table shows the total number of

visitors

Use synonyms

to Ashdown

Museum

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before and after

refurbishment

Use synonyms

during the year. The pie charts illustrate the results of surveys of visitor satisfaction with titles

such

Linking Words

as “Very satisfied, Satisfied, Dissatisfied, Very Dissatisfied and No response” in percentage.

Overall

Linking Words

total

Correct article usage

the total

show examples

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

visitors

Use synonyms

increased after upgrades had been done to the

Museum

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. There were only 74,000

visitors

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before

refurbishment

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as compared to 92,000

visitors

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after

refurbishment

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. With more detailed data,

it is clear that

Linking Words

more people chose very satisfied with the

museum

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after

refurbishment

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in the survey and the numbers increased to 35% from 15%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the percentage of

visitors

Use synonyms

being satisfied with upgrades to the

museum

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rose to 40% as compared to 30% before the renovation. There was a huge reduction

Change preposition

show examples

dissatisfied

visitors

Use synonyms

from 40% before

refurbishment

Use synonyms

to only 15% after. Adding on to that, the percentage of very dissatisfied

visitors

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decreased from 10% to 5% after

refurbishment

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However

Linking Words

visitors

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who did not respond to the survey remained

Change preposition

at 5

show examples

%. To summarise, more people are satisfied with the new

museum

Use synonyms

and there is a downtrend in those dissatisfied.

This

Linking Words

might be because of the better features in the new and upgraded Ashdown

Museum

Use synonyms

Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on Sun Feb 04 2024

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introduction

Make sure to include a clear introduction that sets the context for the data you will discuss in the body of your essay. An introductory sentence should provide a summary of the topic and prepare the reader for the detailed information to follow.

coherence

Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. This can include linking words, and phrases, as well as varied sentence structures that clearly show the relationships between ideas.

logical structure

Ensure that your essay has a logical structure by organizing it into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea that is further explained and supported by specific data or examples from the charts.

task response

You should work on addressing the essay prompt more directly. The task was to discuss the advantages and disadvantages, but your essay mainly reported on the data. Be sure to directly answer the prompt in your introduction and conclusion, giving balanced consideration to both sides of the argument.

clarity

You can enhance the clarity of your essay by expanding on your points with comprehensive explanations, rather than just listing the data. Explain why the numbers increased or decreased, and provide insights into the possible implications of these changes. This will help in achieving a higher score for a clear and comprehensive presentation of ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

200 words

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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult to live such as Sahara desert or Antarctica. Do advantages outweight the disadvantage of live there .

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries today are experiencing high levels of migration from rural areas to cities. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on the existing city dwellers?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.