IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is still a debate on making a
uniform
Use synonyms
 an obligation or not.
Although
Linking Words
 some people argue that every employee should wear a
uniform
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in their workplace,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others completely disagree.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and address my opinion regarding the topic.
To begin
Linking Words
,
uniform
Use synonyms
 as a main part of the appearance will shape employee's
behaviour
Use synonyms
. When a worker wears a
uniform
Use synonyms
, they will realise that there is a particular identity which is attached to them through the
uniform
Use synonyms
. The identity will shape the worker's
behaviour
Use synonyms
 because wherever they go, they will be easily identified.
For instance
Linking Words
, a police officer is always keeping his good
behaviour
Use synonyms
 in front of the public since he is perceived as a role model.
Therefore
Linking Words
, uniforms can be an essential tool for employers to shape their worker's
behaviour
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, uniforms will make a workplace look too formal and hinder creativity. The same dresses that are worn by a group of people will make the workplace too formal and boring which obstructs the imagination from going wild. Imagination is needed in
a particular areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
a particular area
particular areas
show examples
 of business
such
Linking Words
 as in tech or start-up companies that involve imagination in their daily work.
Thus
Linking Words
, almost all tech companies have fewer restrictions on what employees are wearing and give them the liberty to choose what they need to wear.
As a result
Linking Words
, the nonuniformity of the appearance will encourage innovation through creativity. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there is undoubtedly a strong argument between the two sides, it is imperative that we should not obligate workers to wear a
uniform
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 working. Various colours, types, and models of appearance should be celebrated as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
leverages
Correct subject-verb agreement
leverage
show examples
 creative thinking through a playful ambience.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure each body paragraph has a clear central idea supported by examples. While you provided general examples, more specific, detailed examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow of ideas by using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively. Your essay shows a good structure, but you can enhance it by varying your linking phrases.
task achievement
You have presented both views and your own opinion, but the development of your opinion could be stronger. Clearly state and elaborate on your stance throughout the essay, not just the conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: