IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.

#plan #health #centre #b #place
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The plans draw the conclusion from a survey about the health centre has changed since 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, plan B gives information on increasing some rooms and several new areas in a building.
Also
Linking Words
,the size of the garden and the car parking have altered. Plan A had an entrance in the south
that
Change preposition
in
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 front of it is reception desk.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are three CRs
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is next to the reception, and the others are on both sides of the entrance. In the north, there is a physiotherapy room Which has not shifted.
Although
Linking Words
 the office room has not moved, its shape changed slightly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the middle of the office and a CR3 where there are some seats for resting visitors. In the outdoors, there are the garden and the parking in the back and front of the building respectively. In Plan B, in the present day, the entrance moved to the west section.
While
Linking Words
 you go into the building, you pass the reception desk where the front of it is a play area for children and caring for them • After that two new rooms were added Which are a CR4 room and a minor operation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
below the physiotherapy is the CR4 and on the
left
Add a comma
left,
show examples
 it is the minor operations. Even, the capacity of parking rose to 30 spaces.
Submitted by Hassanihn on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea with supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, make certain that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Expand on your ideas with detailed explanations and examples. Aim to present a balanced overview before moving into specifics, and include a noticeable introduction and conclusion that summarise your key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health centre
  • renovation
  • modernization
  • layout
  • consultation rooms
  • treatment rooms
  • pharmacy
  • accessibility
  • parking facilities
  • disabled access
  • technological advancements
  • preventive care
  • rehabilitation services
  • administrative offices
  • community needs
  • public health policy
  • expansion
  • reduction
  • entrance area
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