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Band 7.5

Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals or clean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved.

#parts #world #resources #forests #animals #water #resource
Resource, per se, is fundamental for us to maintain our lives, e.g., clothing, housing, and culinary food composed of natural
resources
. Nowadays, some natural
resources
,
such
 as water,
forests
, and oil, are in danger
due to
 overconsumption, which is caused by the advances in technologies and economic activities worldwide. Admitting that it is a matter of relativity what kind of natural
resources
 we pick up, the answer varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or countries. All in all, I would like to highlight the importance of
forests
 for two reasons. First of all,
forests
 have a vital role in maintaining water in the soil, contributing to preventing a flood and a landslide.
However
, in Japan, a vast amount of
forests
 and trees in the mountains are cut down to develop golf parks and ski resorts.
As a result
, many researchers insist that the risk of landslides increases in the case of heavy rain like typhoons.
Therefore
, we need to protect
forests
 to ensure our safety.
Secondly
, but not less importantly,
forests
 offer dwellings where many animals live.
For example
, a bear, one of the most fierce animals in nature, usually lives in a deep forest, but we often see the news:
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 appears in the town areas and hurts the local people. The main cause is considered as a lack of food in its forest
due to
 climate change.
Hence
, in order to realize the coexistence of both people and animals, maintaining
forests
 is a crucial issue. That having been mentioned, I hasten to add that people should not completely use
resources
 from
forests
,
such
 as timber. The crux of
this
 question is that we must reconsider the use of natural
resources
, whether utilization or overconsumption.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph links smoothly to the next with clear transitional phrases.
task achievement
Consider providing a more varied vocabulary to enhance clarity and engagement.
task achievement
Revisit the structure of the argument on the interaction between climate change and forest preservation to add depth to your points.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the importance of forests and provides specific examples to support arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the topic, while the conclusion appropriately summarizes key points.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized structure that follows a logical progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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