In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays, as more and more people choose a sedentary lifestyle, the average BMI(body mass index) in some developed countries increases.
This
is a serious, but critical problem to solve,
since overweight people often experience not just physical tiredness, Remove the comma
apply
as
well as emotional exhaustion.In Correct word choice
but as
this
essay
I will look into the reasons for obesity and provide possible solutions.
Various reasons might influence individuals to stop regulating their food consumption and become overweight. Add a comma
essay,
Such
causes, for example
, sedentary
lifestyle include working from home for too long and not exercising. Correct article usage
a sedentary
On the other hand
, poor dietary choises
may Correct your spelling
choices
also
contribute to this
issue. This
is due to
the fact that there are little to no public awareness campaigns and nutritious food options in stores.
If we addressed
Wrong verb form
address
properly
Correct pronoun usage
this properly
the
solutions could be found to solve the current situation.
The first and most important solution to Correct article usage
apply
this
problem would be increasing public awareness through ads and various campaigns, that obesity should not be a way of living a meaningful life. Secondly
, easy and affordable access to nutritious food options as well as
health education incorporation into school
curriculum plays a major role Correct article usage
the school
for
increasing fitness levels.
I would assert that, by incorporating the solutions mentioned above in educational and public institutions, collective consciousness would rise and the problem of obesity would be tackled once and for all. Change preposition
in
This
heightened awareness could foster a culture of proactive health choices, prompting individuals to prioritize physical well-being. Consequently
, the long-term impact may extend beyond individual health improvements, positively influencing societal perspectives on nutrition, exercise, and overall
well-being.Submitted by oimigle on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the logical structure of your essay by creating clear and distinct paragraphs for each point, and make sure your ideas flow coherently. This will help your readers follow your argument more easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points. This frames your essay and gives it a sense of completion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with detailed explanations, examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make your ideas more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task to provide a complete response. Make sure to discuss the causes and solutions individually and show how they are connected.
Task Achievement
Use clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which should be explained, developed, and supported.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant, specific examples to support your points. Ideas are more convincing when they are grounded in real-world evidence or examples, so try to illustrate your claims with clear examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.