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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The map presents us a small theater in 2010, and the same theater in 2012.

The map presents us a small theater in 2010, and the same theater in 2012.
#theater
The given map illustrates the
chages
Correct your spelling
changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 theater in
two
 periods, 2010 and 2012.
Overall
, it can clearly be seen that there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 no major renovations,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there were several new facilities that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 between the
two year
Add a hyphen
two-year
show examples
 periods. In the initial year prior to the development, the
auditorium
situated
Add a missing verb
was situated
show examples
 in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the building, with 12 chairs. The main
entreance
Correct your spelling
entrance
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can be found
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opposite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
auditorium
. Next to the door, a cafe situated to the right and
admin
Correct article usage
the admin
show examples
office
as well as
 ticket
office
lied
Replace the word
lay
show examples
 adjoin to the left. Behind the
auditorium
, located
two
 rooms for
stage
Correct article usage
the stage
show examples
 and
media
, consecutively. From
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both rooms, to the left
located
Verb problem
is
show examples
 a storage
room
. After
two
 years, several relocations and changes occur. A ticket
office
 was removed
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the expense of
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
.
Moreover
, a restaurant was
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 by
used
Change the form of the verb
using
show examples
 the former space of
admin
Correct article usage
the admin
show examples
 and ticket
office
.
Hence
, the admin
office
was relocate
Change the verb form
was relocated
show examples
 to the opposite of the restaurant. The stage was enlarged and
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 of
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
room
 of
media
. The storage area was replaced
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
media
Correct article usage
a media
show examples
room
 and build new shower
room
 to the left of
auditorium
Add an article
the auditorium
show examples
, next to the
media
.
Lastly
, the storage
was relocate
Change the verb form
was relocated
was relocating
show examples
 and establish new building to the right of
stage
Correct article usage
the stage
show examples
 and hall.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, auditorium, office, media, room with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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