Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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It is widely believed that online

games

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and television have harmful effects in terms of

violence

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people

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in the communities.

However

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, a number of

people

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think there aren’t drawbacks to society's behaviour. I strongly agree with the first point of view, as I believe violent computer

games

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and TV might have negative impacts and

people

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. First of all, playing action online

games

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and watching criminal TV shows have negative effects on individuals, especially teenagers and

children

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This

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is because

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apply

show examples

they want to imitate characters as role models.

For example

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, some kinds of movies and online entertainment lead to committing crimes. So, these are harmful to the future of society because these generations will grow up creating that.

According to

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a recent study by Sultan Qaboos University, 45% of

children

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who have played criminal online

games

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will react to

violence

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in adulthood.

Furthermore

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, playing violent

games

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, even as a hobby, can change the public's mindsets and affect their behaviour unconsciously.

Due to

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the fact that computer

games

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are just as entertainment, they have a significant influence on humans.

For instance

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, when

children

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play Batman

games

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, they see the main character as a superhero, and they will mimic his actions. There is no question that in developing countries that have poor societies with no entertainment resources, their

children

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can be violent in their behaviour. In conclusion, watching violent media has a seriously negative impact on

people

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's attitudes and behaviours. In my opinion, video

games

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encourage society, especially teenagers and

children

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, to engage in

violence

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in reality.

In contrast

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, I fully encourage that, everyone takes a positive role towards

violence

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Submitted by dream2cuwed on Thu Jan 16 2025

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Content Development

Ensure all main points introduced in the essay are thoroughly developed and clearly relevant to the task. Consider illustrating with a wider variety of examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly to improve the logical flow of the essay. This can help make your arguments better structured.

Task Achievement

Balance your arguments by acknowledging counterpoints or exploring differing perspectives slightly more. This adds depth to the essay.

Structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing the main perspectives effectively.

Task Response

The essay successfully presents an opinion and attempts to justify it with examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Passages are organized with a coherent structure and progression of ideas, with paragraph divisions appropriate to the points being made.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter when you borrow car from neighbour for a day

some people say that the environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your opnion.