Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen , considering the significance of primary & secondary level education in a learner's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Everyone has the right to receive an
education
. As we know primary school
plays an important role for children
. Children
must get enough education
however
it can be a foundation for lifelong learning, intellectual growth, and development skills
. I totally agree that everyone should stay in school
until the age of eighteen as they will get many benefits from school
Firstly
, primary and secondary school
have the role important because the children
get their basic education
. Children
spend these years learning various subjects and many skills
. Such
as social skills
, critical thinking skills
, teamwork skills
and many more. These skills
can help their present and future. For example
, children
learn how to socialize with their friends at school
. Also
, children
critical thinking skills
and teamwork skills
through the assignments or projects at school
. Children
who attend formal education
can sharpen various skills
. Moreover
, these skills
are valuable in various aspects of life and work. It is important to
Change preposition
for to
children
stay in until the age of eighteen. Moreover
, people who get higher education
will get better opportunities in their jobs and careers, due to
several companies also
screening the employee's educational background before being recruited.
Secondly
, children
who did not attend secondary school
and primary school
may get lack in various subjects and also
they may miss out on many basic skills
which can be affected to
their various aspects of life. Change preposition
apply
Also
, they may face limited various
of job and career opportunities these situations will have an impact on their finances Replace the word
variety
as a result
the number of poverty increases.
To conclude
, every child should attend formal school
until eighteen, which can be highly beneficial for their personal, social, and economic development.Submitted by hafidzaditaf1 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear logical structure throughout the essay. It's important to have an introductory sentence that clearly states your opinion followed by cohesive paragraphs that each address a singular, coherent idea.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is present but could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more explicitly and restating your opinion with a stronger, more conclusive statement.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with clear specific examples or explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is well supported with relevant details and examples.
task achievement
Make sure your response completely addresses all parts of the task. Clearly articulate your extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement, providing detailed explanations.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to express ideas more precisely and fluently. Avoid repetition of simple words and phrases; instead, demonstrate your language ability with varied language.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This can be real-world examples, statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes that are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.