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Band 5.5

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph provides information about the yearly expenditure of three bakeries in London over a
period
Use synonyms
 of 10
years
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2010
Overall
Linking Words
, It’s clear to see that the annual earnings of Robbia’s Bakery and Barnie’s Buns showed an upward trend.
While
Linking Words
 Lovely
Loaves
Use synonyms
 experience a downward trend in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
yearly earnings throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the yearly
income
Use synonyms
 for Robbia’s Bakery was around 58.000
Pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2000, and it remained stable for the next four
years
Use synonyms
, In 2005 it increased
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 60.000
Pounds
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, It still increased for the next two
years
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 100.000
Pounds
Use synonyms
, and it occupied around 102.000
Pounds
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, As for Lovely
Use synonyms
loaves
Capitalize word
Loaves
show examples
, the yearly
income
Use synonyms
 in 2000 was 20.000
Pound
Fix the agreement mistake
Pounds
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, for the next two
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 40.000
Pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and it remained stable for the next four
years
Use synonyms
, In 2007 it increased dramatically above 60.000
Pound
Fix the agreement mistake
Pounds
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the graph in 2010. The annual
income
Use synonyms
 for Lovely
Use synonyms
loaves
Capitalize word
Loaves
show examples
 was the highest at the beginning around 80.000
Pounds
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, for the next five
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it fluctuated, and it plunged to 40.000
Pounds
Use synonyms
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, which means Lovely
Loaves
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
income
Use synonyms
 of all three bakeries.
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, years, loaves, income, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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