Scientist and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artist. To what extent do you agree.
The dynamics of society
has
continuously been changing depending on the present hierarchy. In the present, many Correct subject-verb agreement
have
societes
are science-centric, appreciating technological experts more than art and music makers. It is my contention that the newer generations should focus more on valuing scientists and engineers, aiming to achieve outcomes that are both profitable and practical to the existing global dilemmas.
First and foremost, back in Correct your spelling
societies
Correct article usage
the 1990s
1990s
Add a comma
1990s,
people
were paying more attention to the professions like musicians and artists for their unique work. Over the Use synonyms
receny
years, Correct your spelling
recent
this
has changed as Linking Words
people
are now prioritizing science and technology-related specialists over others Use synonyms
whose
have creative skills in art. Owing to the constant advancements achieved in digitalization and AI, a huge demand has emerged for IT specialists Correct pronoun usage
who
especially
developers. Add the comma(s)
, especially
For instance
, parents and young candidates prefer to study in technical majors because there are Linking Words
also
golden Linking Words
employement
prospects for Correct your spelling
employment
the
fresh graduates. Bearing in mind the benefits of holding Correct article usage
apply
a
technical expertise, more and more Remove the article
apply
people
opting to Use synonyms
set-up
a new career in Correct your spelling
set up
this
promising field.
Linking Words
Moreover
, it takes a Linking Words
subtantial
amount of time Correct your spelling
substantial
to
for a science Change preposition
apply
scolar
to perfect his/her skills, Correct your spelling
scholar
thus
, dramatically increasing their value among the societies. It is worth noting that they play a crucial role in finding solutions to the most comprehensive obstacles that humanity is facing now. To cite an example, a Linking Words
couple
scientists found a cure for Add the preposition
couple of
the
COVID-19 which completely reshaped our world by concluding the pandemic. Hereby, Correct article usage
apply
this
type of Linking Words
solutions
ratifies again that these Fix the agreement mistake
solution
people
should always be the focus of public interest.
In conclusion, despite some art Use synonyms
enthusiastics
Correct your spelling
enthusiasts
have
a collection of spectacular items and Wrong verb form
having
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
Linking Words
contribute
to their countries a lot by means of reputation and monetary value, they receive less attention in comparison with technical experts who bring Wrong verb form
contributing
in
massive value to the societies.Change preposition
apply
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introduction
Make sure to introduce the topic and your thesis statement more clearly in the introduction. Begin with a more general statement before stating your opinion.
task response
Try to present your ideas in a more balanced way, considering both sides of the argument to fully address the question of the extent of agreement.
body paragraphs
Support your main points with more relevant examples and explain their significance to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more effectively. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the logical flow of your argument.
conclusion
Your conclusion should summarize the key points of the argument and clearly restate your thesis, ensuring a strong final impression.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.