In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the internet that children can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In these
days many people think that the Change preposition
These
internet
help Capitalize word
Internet
in
many things and Change preposition
with
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
lot
of Change the article
a lot
informations
so they Change the wording
information
pieces of information
said
that Wrong verb form
say
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
alternative to Capitalize word
Internet
study
at Wrong verb form
studying
schools
and that Fix the agreement mistake
school
study
at Replace the word
studying
home
on the internet
would be more helpful. In my opinion Capitalize word
Internet
study
at school Wrong verb form
studying
so
important for Add a missing verb
is so
students
in both social and educational terms. So in this
essay
we will discuss many reasons which Add a comma
essay,
illustrates
the non-acceptance and support of Change the verb form
illustrate
this
opinion.
Moreever
, as long Correct your spelling
Moreover
was
the Correct your spelling
as
schools
are important to develop the individual and society. Also
it is a vital institution for the transfer of education and teaching. Add a comma
Also,
And it
focuses on studying physical education and the arts that are difficult to Correct word choice
It
study
online and at home
. Also
Add a comma
Also,
study
at Wrong verb form
studying
schools
resets and motivates students
and provides them with guidance by
teachers who teach Change preposition
from
students
regularity and focus on the future that
is not available when learning at Correct pronoun usage
which
home
. For example
in most schools
in the classroom, students
are divided into groups and this
enhances their social cooperation and gains them trust in others.
The Internet
has always helped us in many different tasks, but becoming an alternative to studying in schools
is not good and has many drawbacks:
Firstly
, and the most important of these is that many students
do not have full access to the Internet
due to
the different material differences between students
. Secondly
,It is true that the Internet
contains many information, although
it contains doubtful or false information, so it does not answer relying
on it completely.Wrong verb form
rely
Thirdly
and finally
, the Internet
does not enhance the social aspect of students
, unlike schools
that teach social and emotional cooperation.
In Conclusion the importance of studying in schools
over the past and coming years has become a subject of discussion and replacement by studying online at home
, but in my opinion this
discussion will always fail because studying in schools
is more beneficial to the individual and society and healthier.Submitted by sesjej1330 on
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Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction could be improved by more directly addressing the question and providing a clearer thesis statement. Your introduction currently doesn't present your opinion or outline the argument you will be discussing, which can confuse readers.
Logical Structure
Try to structure your essay with clear, distinct paragraphs, each one addressing a single main point. This will improve the logical structure and flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow.
Supported Main Points
You have made some assertions without providing specific examples or evidence. Enhancing your main points with relevant examples will enrich your argument and help solidify your points.
Complete Response
Although you have articulated a clear position, you should fully address all parts of the task. This includes considering opposing viewpoints and explaining why you disagree with them.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that ideas within and between paragraphs are clearly connected, using a range of cohesive devices (linking words) effectively. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.