Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present world, information technology is more developed and still on the rise.
Smartphones
and social media are owned by everyone from
different ages and statuses including teenagers. Change preposition
of
This
phenomenon leads to a decrease in real-life socialization because they prefer to spend their time
meeting with friends or other people
online. This
essay will discuss why this
is happening and also
the solution.
To begin
with, the development of technology brings many advantages to our daily lives. It helps us to connect with other people
from different nations, learn new knowledge and gather the information we need. Besides
the benefits, technology also
has many disadvantages, and one of them is limiting our real-lifelife
interaction Correct your spelling
real-life
due to
the comfort it offers in online socialization. This
could be a disaster as many young people
will lose their skills to interact with other people
directly. Moreover
, this
can affect them not only mentally but also
physically because they spend most of their time
at home without fresh air and sun exposure.
However
, we can take several solutions to overcome this
problem. The practical solution is to reduce their daily screen time
on smartphones
or any communication devices. And accommodate them to spend more time
outside such
as running, jogging, and walking. One of the reasons why most teenager
Change to a plural noun
teenagers
are
really dependent on their phone is because Change the verb form
is
smartphones
can make someone become addicted. Cutting and limiting their time
on smartphones
with another
positive Correct quantifier usage
other
activity
including reading a book, planting, and spending more Fix the agreement mistake
activities
time
with family and friends can help them become less addicted to smartphones
and socialize more with other people
in real life.
In conclusion, virtual communication is not bad but us and teenagers. But, we need to balance it with our real-life interactions and intimate face-to-face communication with our friends and family.Submitted by rlsk.2899 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure with well-developed paragraphs that flow smoothly from one to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words) effectively without overusing them.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to introduce and conclude your essay effectively. Both the introduction and conclusion should be directly related to the essay topic and provide a clear summary of your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main ideas with clear explanations, evidence, and examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, followed by supporting details to enrich your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your response is complete and covers all aspects of the task. Address all parts of the prompt in sufficient detail, providing a balanced approach to discussion.
Task Achievement
Aim for clarity in expressing your ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main point and be comprehensive. Avoid ambiguity by explaining your thoughts fully.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant examples to illustrate your points. Use specific instances or experiences from real-life situations to make your argument stronger and more relatable.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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