IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is is a positive or negative development?

#intelligence #drive #cars #development
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Manual
car
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 driving will be replaced by automatic driving using artificial
intelligence
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.
This
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 is
due to
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development
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 in
technology
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 and it should be seen as a positive
development
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 because it increases a person's effectiveness and efficiency in daily
work
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. In recent years,
technology
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 has been developing very fast , particularly in the use of
machines
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.
Firstly
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, the rise of the internet makes
people
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 connected and the borderlines between countries become vague. It is noticeable that the latest
development
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 of
technology
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 leads to the creation of machine learning, which is known as artificial
intelligence
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.
This
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 type of machine has the ability to learn and relearn from different cases by digesting billions of data. Currently
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,
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technology
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 has been used for many daily chores
such
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 as cleaning the house, driving a
car
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, and maintaining home security and many more.
This
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 phenomenon will lead to human dependency on
machines
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 in the next decades.
Machines
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work
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 to simplify human
work
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 in many ways, and so does artificial
intelligence
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. Some features of automation are included in
this
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 advancement of
machines
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.
People
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 who use machine-based artificial
intelligence
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 will have more
time
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 to focus on
coducting
Correct your spelling
conducting
 their priorities.
For example
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, when
people
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 choose an automobile
car
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 rather than a manual
car
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, they can make more spare
time
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 to
work
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 or rest without the need to be focused on the road. Imagine
if
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apply
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someone who
spend
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spends
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 a long period of
time
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 to attend the workplace, not only it will be very tiring to drive every day, but
also
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 waste
time
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. Recent research found that by using automatic cars for everyday driving
people
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 will save
time
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 by around 5 weeks every year. In conclusion, the rise of machine learning
due to
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 the advancement of
technology
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 will make humans more dependent towards artificial
intelligence
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.
This
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 phenomenon should be valued as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive
development
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 because it creates more effective and efficient activities in daily
work
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.
Submitted by adibah.r on

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Task Achievement & Coherence/Cohesion
Try to develop your main points by providing more specific examples or evidence. Your essay mentions research regarding time saved by using automatic cars but doesn't provide details that could strengthen the argument.
Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay by using cohesive devices effectively and having a clear topic sentence for each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address both parts of the question in your essay. While you have touched on why AI is used in cars and its positive impacts, discussing potential negatives as well will provide a more balanced view and a complete response.
Coherence/Cohesion
Check your work for errors in vocabulary, grammar, and spelling, as these mistakes can disrupt the flow of your essay and even confuse the reader. For instance, 'coducting' should be 'conducting.'

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • autonomous vehicles
  • traffic management
  • route optimization
  • human error
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • convenience
  • elderly
  • disabled individuals
  • job displacement
  • logistics
  • transportation
  • implementation
  • maintenance
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