The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount times spent doing housework in household in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount times spent doing housework in household in one country between 1920 and 2019.
The two line graphs
illustrates
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illustrate
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the differences
of
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in
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percentage of the electrical
appliances
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appliance
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owners and
number
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a number
the number
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of
hours
that people spent
to do
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doing
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their
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
house works
from 1920 to 2019. At a glance,
while
the use of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners encountered an upward trend,
a
Correct article usage
the
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number
of individuals who own washing machines experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
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fluctuated
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fluctuating
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trend,
whereas
an
Correct article usage
the
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amount of
hours
people spent per week gradually decreased throughout the given period. Looking at
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
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of the use of electrical machines, more closely,
while
the
number
of washing
machine
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machines
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rose significantly from 0% to 100% and remained stable at 100
percent
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per cent
show examples
since 1980, that of vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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increased about three times and eventually
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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100% in 2000.
Whereas
the
amount
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number
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of users who own
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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fluctuated between 1920 to 1960, its
number
minimally rose
about
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by about
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10% from 1980 to 2019.
However
, the
amount
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number
show examples
of
hours
people spent
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
their housework had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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significantly dipped around 2 times between 1920 and 1960, the
number
,
afterward
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afterwards
show examples
, minimally declined
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
5
hours
.
Submitted by giftsuvichaya1702 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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