IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount times spent doing housework in household in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount times spent doing housework in household in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #times #housework #household #country
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The two line graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 percentage of the electrical
appliances
Change the noun form
appliance
show examples
 owners and
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 that people spent
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 their
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
house works
 from 1920 to 2019. At a glance,
while
Linking Words
 the use of refrigerators and vacuum cleaners encountered an upward trend,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals who own washing machines experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
 trend,
whereas
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 people spent per week gradually decreased throughout the given period. Looking at
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of the use of electrical machines, more closely,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 rose significantly from 0% to 100% and remained stable at 100
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 since 1980, that of vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 increased about three times and eventually
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 100% in 2000.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of users who own
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 fluctuated between 1920 to 1960, its
number
Use synonyms
 minimally rose
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 10% from 1980 to 2019.
However
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 people spent
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 their housework had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significantly dipped around 2 times between 1920 and 1960, the
number
Use synonyms
,
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
, minimally declined
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 5
hours
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by giftsuvichaya1702 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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