Many believe that learning a language at an early age is better while others think such language should be taught later. discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern era, some groups of society think that learning a new
language
should be started in the early stages of life but others oppose it. With all due respect to the second group, I fully agree with the first standpoint and I think because of more free capacity of mind and more
time
to repeat,
acquisition
Correct article usage
the acquisition
show examples
of a new
language
would be better in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
years of life.
To begin
with, advocates of
early age
Add a hyphen
early-age
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learning tout its many advantages. The brain of under 5 children has more capacity compared to adults. Because they haven't learned a lot of knowledge yet
and
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apply
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scientists believe that
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
things we learn have the potential to remain forever.
For example
, when I was 4,
besides
to
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apply
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my mother tongue, my parents started to teach me Spanish and now I can speak Spanish even more
fluent
Change the word
fluently
show examples
than Persian.
Additionally
,
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
have more
time
to practice and learn new things and
language
is no exception.
Thus
, they can do their
faivorite
Correct your spelling
favourite
activities in that particular dialect which increases the efficiency of
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
process as well.
For example
,
according to
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
, kids have
the
Correct article usage
an
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average amount of 12 hours
free
Change preposition
of free
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time
more than adults
which
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and
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part of it can be devoted to
acquisition
Add an article
the acquisition
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of a new skill.
On the other hand
, some experts believe the childhood period should merely be devoted to playing and there is a lot of
time
afterwards to do other things. Scientists discovered that childhood playing can help the brain to evolve properly and enhance its function
while
lack of it can lead to grave problems in
the
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apply
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adulthood like
deppression
Correct your spelling
depression
.
Therefore
, playing is not far from education and leads to better education in high school and even universities.
such
as
a
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apply
show examples
research in 2020 that indicated 98 per cent of smart students
in
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at
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Harvard University had a happy childhood with a lot of playing.
To conclude
, there is an ongoing controversy about whether
language
learning should be started in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
phases of life. I think it is better to start earlier because of more capacity of the brain and more accessible
time
that can contribute to more repeat and better learning.
Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on

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introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the two opposing views as well as your own opinion to help the reader understand the direction of your essay.
coherence
Use a range of cohesive devices to make your essay more coherent. While you have used some, increasing the variety would benefit the flow of your essay.
logical structure
Try to ensure the logical flow of ideas by arranging them in a more organized manner. Your paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more logical development of ideas.
supported main points
Support your main points consistently with specific examples or detailed explanations. While you have some good examples, make sure that each main point is equally supported.
conclusion
Ensure your conclusion succinctly summarises the main points made in the essay and clearly restates your opinion. While your conclusion covers these aspects, it could be more concise and focused.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully by adding more depth and analysis to your arguments. Providing more nuanced arguments might enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
relevant specific examples
Wherever possible, include specific examples or data to support your arguments. You've done so in places, but more consistent and relevant examples will strengthen your essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mimic
  • cognitive abilities
  • nuances
  • surface-level understanding
  • sophisticated learning strategies
  • critical thinking skills
  • intrinsic motivation
  • analytical skills
  • flexibility
  • sponge-like
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