The line graph below shows the percentage of people in Africa subscribing to mobile and fixed-line phones from 1994 to 2004.
The line graph below provides an analysis of citizens in Africa joining cell and landline
phones
. Use synonyms
This
analysis takes a decade, from 1994 to 2004 and covers 100 inhabitants.
Linking Words
Overall
, the Linking Words
residence
Correct quantifier usage
number of residence
phones
slightly increased, Use synonyms
while
mobile Linking Words
phones
had sharp growth from the beginning. Use synonyms
However
fixed-line Linking Words
phones
had more amount of people than other kinds of Use synonyms
phones
.
In 1994, subscribing people on residence Use synonyms
phones
more than mobile by approximately 1 Use synonyms
percent
, Change the spelling
per cent
furthermore
, Linking Words
percentage
of using new gadgets stayed higher than old only after 7 years. Joiners to cell Correct article usage
the percentage
phones
Use synonyms
was
0.6 Change the verb form
were
percent
.
In 2001, a new gadget crossed the blue indicator and didn’t stop its enormous climb, Change the spelling
per cent
while
the blue line had a really minimal up. From Linking Words
this
period of time, the percentage of those Linking Words
phones
was around 2,8. Use synonyms
To sum up
, we can see that Linking Words
at the end
of the 2004 year, the percentage of home Linking Words
phones
reached Use synonyms
to
3,1, Change preposition
apply
whereas
cell Linking Words
phones
had 8.8 per cent.Use synonyms
Submitted by balnur_amantay on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words phones with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼